Masturbating To Frances O’Connor’s Naked Poetry Slam

Every couple has a unique courtship period, and we're not here to say one style is better than the other, but we think Skip (Billy Bob Thornton) and Camilla (Frances O'Connor) are the only ones doing it right. He masturbates while she bounces around naked and recites "The Charge of the Light Brigade" by Tennyson.

We're sure you and your significant other met in an adorable way and pursued each other romantically in a most charming fashion, but when you go to tell your kids how to attract a life partner, you probably won't know what to say. Skip and Camilla's example can be followed by anyone and guarantees that bonds will instantly be forged. We guess we lied when we said we wouldn't rank courtship styles.

· "Jayne Mansfield's Car" (imdb.com)