The “Stripper Pole,” A Totem For Twenty-Something Sluts

The way we see it, installing a stripper pole in your home is a bit like bringing a Ouija board or tarot cards into the house. You're going to have fun, maybe you'll have a few laughs here and there, but eventually you're going to open doors you never knew existed, and you may not like what's on the other side. In this film, the mere presence of a stripper pole incites Riley Steele to bang everything in her path. See what we mean?

Now, it'd be one thing if Riley alone felt the demonic influence of the pole, since she has it installed as a surprise for her husband, but no, every single woman who comes in contact with the pole suddenly gets unbearably horny and has to hump whoever is nearby. Personally, whenever we come in contact with a stripper pole, we like to slide down it and pretend we're firemen. Wee!

The very second Erik Everhard finishes installing that giant phallic symbol in Riley's bedroom, Riley starts thinking about how much fun she's going to have showing off for her husband, and her fantasies spiral out of control to the point where she mounts Erik on the spot. We can't help but wonder how many times this has happened to Erik before. How many sweet, young wives have greeted him formally at the door only to jump his bones after he's turned the final screw on a brand new pole? Should he warn them, or would that come off as harassment? None of these thoughts go through Erik's head as Riley's lips make their way down his shaft. No, as Riley grinds her pussy down on his titanic dong, the only question in Erik's mind is, "Does this count as my tip?"

Later, Charley Chase hears about Riley's new addition to her home, and she starts fantasizing about working the pole. The next thing you know, she's wearing a French maid costume and tickling Manuel Ferrara's balls with her feather duster. See, she doesn't even need to be near the damn thing in order for it to take control of her brain. The sight of his lady so aroused sends Manuel into a fury of fucking, and he doesn't hesitate to lift her flouncy skirt and take her pussy from behind. By the time they actually strip down (save for Charley's cute frilly socks), they've turned into a big sweaty mess on the couch and all they want to do is finger each other's ass and mouth as they screw. Just imagine what would've happened if Charley had actually seen the stripper pole!

Now, fast forwarding a little, we have April O'Neil visiting Riley's pole and jumping straight into Mick Blue's lap, and later Riley finally gets to show her husband their brand new toy, but at the end of it all, we have Tasha Reign getting jealous and ordering a stripper pole of her very own. Guess who comes over to install it? Erik Everhard. Guess what happens? Exchange of bodily fluids. She sucks his cock, rakes her nails down his thigh, takes him balls-deep, grinds against the base of his shaft, and God knows what else. At least she knew what she was getting into.

We have to ask, is the stripper pole in "Stripper Pole" haunted or something? If not, could it be? Just imagine if poltergeist possessed a house with a big ol' pole inside it; humans and ghosts could finally learn to get along.

· All photos courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Stripper Pole" (adultdvdempire.com)