Emma Jane Menteath Is Oh So Toothsome

Emma Jane Menteath: there's a name we've never heard before (we would definitely remember a last name like that). We don't know a single thing about her, and now begins the super fun phase where we infer things about her life based on this one strange photoshoot! So, is Emma Jane Menteath a professional rider of greased-up thighs, or a beautiful princess trapped by an enchanted feather boa?

Or is she simply hanging around in her cotton panties fantasizing about the sexy nightlife she's too afraid to taste? Here goes her Tumblr, maybe that can teach us something about her. It's mostly pink things, fashion photos, and a note that says she's back home in Cape Town. Well, at least we know she's from South Africa! That, or she's from a place where everyone wears capes all the time. We could get down with that town.