“Dirty Over 30” Is The New Moderately Slutty Under 25

As we've mentioned in the past, being a MILF has less to do with age than it does with experience, boob size, and predatory instincts. So what does it mean--from a practical standpoint--that all these hot females are over thirty? We don't know. Goethe once said, "The first sign we don't know what we are doing is an obsession with numbers."

We are indeed obsessed with numbers. Did you know that according to IAFD, Brooke Banner is only twenty-nine! What kind of crap are you trying to pull, New Sensations? Slipping a young'un in on us. For shame.

Still, age aside, Brooke is all right. You can't not look at her plump ass and want to pinch it, and the way the sun bounces off it as she rides Christian Clay's cock in the backyard is absolutely divine. We think we can see someone watching Brooke and Christian from the house, but maybe we're just being paranoid. If we were there, we'd obviously be spying on them, but only so we can observe how Brooke uses her mature sexuality to drain Christian's balls. We bet they talk about taxes and stuff. You know those adults!

It's been a while since we've seen McKenzie Lee (who's thirty-three, if you're wondering) and she looks as leggy and lusty as always. You can tell she's an older pornstar because she keeps her leopard print dress around her torso while she rides Christian's cock. Fact: MILFs are notoriously unwilling to let go of animal prints. But she does let go in other ways; for one, she lets her ass go and take all of that thermos-sized dick, and when she's on her back, you can tell that she's in a world of pure butt-based bliss.

Some believe that the tired old saying, "The bigger the hoop, the bigger the ho," but we think Puma Swede's earrings are simply nice dangly things that accent all of the other nice dangly things on her body. However, in our book, the saying should be "The bigger the spit bubble, the bigger the ho." Even though it lacks the alliteration of the original, we think it's much more accurate, for the bubble that links Puma's tongue to Tommy Gunn's cock is quite bulbous and if you read it like a crystal ball, you can see all of the dirty things she's going to do to him.

We can't wait to see where these "Dirty Over 30" girls will be in ten years or so. How does "Frisky Over 40" sound? Or maybe they'll call it "Sporty Over 40" and it can be porn/exercise instructional!

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Buy "Dirty Over 30" (store.fleshbot.com)