You Needn’t Try So Hard To Seduce Me, Missy Martinez

Missy Martinez is all curves and toastiness, like a fresh loaf of bread. And, also like a fresh loaf of bread, she looks better without any clothes on her.

In "Seduction 2," Martinez is eventually joined by James Deen, who more or less inhales her on a couch. And that's what Missy Martinez compels people to do: dive in there as soon as possible. He grabs her, squeezes her, rearranges her, and tries to position her in as many viewing angles possible.

This is what you would do as well. Perhaps if Deen weren't paying attention and was just running on instinct, he might regain consciousness with her labia on his head and first think, "How did I get here?" and then think, "This seems inevitable."

That's why a clothed Martinez gyrating affectedly on a patio, squatting up and down in a shower wearing a French maid's outfit, or generally being clothed at all in the opening tease sequence just seems wrong. Some people have to wear sexy clothes to remind you they're sexy; for Martinez to wear them is redundant.

You know what would be great? A scene in which Martinez wears your bathrobe and plaid pajamas and makes coffee barefoot, then takes her clothes off. I hereby request that for us.

Because nothing is as seductive as thinking you've arrived at the idea yourself.

·Follow Missy Martinez on Twitter
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· Elegant Angel (elegantangel.com)
· Buy "Seduction 2" (tlavideo.com)