The Most Sparkling Ass In All The Land

We've never really wished we were a loofah before. It just hadn't crossed our minds as one of the ideal inanimate objects we'd like to shapeshift into. But after seeing what kinds of amazing funtimes one can have with Jessie Rogers's unbelievable ass, we're gonna concentrate extra hard on turning ourselves into pillowy mounds of mesh.

We'll be the soapiest, softest, most sumptuous, ass-crack-friendliest crackerjack loofah that ever was! We'll blow any common washcloth out of the water and into the nearest trashcan, because we realize the special requirements of Jessie's ass. So step away, everyone else. We've got Jessie's booty's backstage rider and we're checking off every item. Twenty cases of sparkling water, a dozen white lilies, and us, her magical loofah. All is right with the world.

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