A Bath With A Prostitute Will Soothe Your Fevered Brow

[jwplayer id="7093705"]

Are you a British soldier preparing to fight the French on behalf of the Portuguese and Lord Wellington? Well then, you probably need a good rest. Wait, strike that, you need a bath. Wait, no, sorry, we'll try again: you need a prostitute, maybe two, and then a cigar and perhaps snuggling. Such is the way of the soldier.

Just be nice to the ladies, will you? When one of them says you're her favorite, don't disagree with her because she's paid to like men. Take the compliment, return one of your own, and then dry her off with the towel so she doesn't catch tuberculosis or pneumonia or something else that everybody seemed to get all the time back in the 19th century.

· "Lines of Wellington" (imdb.com)