“Top Bottoms” Taste Better Than Upside-Down Cake

We like this title because it subtly reminds us that some people use "tits" as an adjective; William H. could've called this movie "Tits Butts" and we're glad he didn't. You know what else? I'm gonna start referring to delicious ass as "upside-down cake." Why? Creative license.

It's good to see more from the recently forged William H. (née Nutsack) and Jules Jordan alliance, and although it's not like Jules Jordan needs any help appealing to the butt-lovers of the world, this is what the guy does best, so we respect it. If it's not broke, don't fix it; if it has a crack down the middle, put it on a DVD.

Lea Lexis is here and that's no surprise to us. Her butt is beloved by people all over the world, and at the root of his admiration is Lea's respect and reverence for her own rump. She only allows it to be filled with the biggest and most rigid of boners, such as those belonging to Ramon Nomar and Toni Ribas. Though fitting those phalluses in her pussy and ass simultaneously is no easy task, once Lea gets there, she in her zone. Sure, the camera captures her being fucked, but in real life all her molecules are vibrating between this dimension and the next. Her tuchus is transcendental.

We appreciate the fact that "Top Bottoms" doesn't only include huge asses. Dani Daniels has a marvelous butt, and though it's plump and juicy, we wouldn't call it a badonkadonk (or even a badinkydonk) by any stretch of the word. It's a tight ass, just a little bigger than James Deen's rough hands, but it beckons to us all. There are some of you who may assume that this culo of conservative carnality is less fun to fuck, but you are wrong. James Deen shows his appreciation for Dani's derriere by jerking his load onto her with a two-handed wank--the most honorable of wanks.

"Top Bottoms" should be a grand film about the butt, and we really hope that other pornographers pay attention to the minimalist title here. We look forward to "Bottom Tops," William H's downcast glance at the most Meh breasts in the business.

· Jules Jordan (julesjordan.com)
· Buy "Top Bottoms" (store.fleshbot.com)