Never The “2 Soeurs Lane” Shall Meet, Save For Cumshots

You remember the Lane sisters, Shana and Roxy, don't you? Of course you do; you were as thrilled by their fuck-filled camping trip as we were! Now Quebec Productions is giving us a chance to get intimately familiar with these filles as they fuck and suck and make sure not to get too close to each other.

At first we thought the preview packet only had pictures from one scene, but as it turns out, the entire film takes place in the same spot: a gym. This is sure to skew our perception of Quebecois people: we now think they're fitness-obsessed and rich in family values.

We all know that siblings screwing in the same room--even with upon the same set of genitals--is no big deal, but it's hard not to fetishize (er, romanticize?) the connection between the Lanes when looking at these pictures. For example, as Shana sucks upon a thick glass dildo, Roxy does the same to a real penis, and we're pretty sure one action begets the other. Perhaps Shana is the puppet master and Roxy her doll, perhaps the other way around; perhaps this whole film is a spoof of "The Corsican Brothers." Are we right, ladies?

They manage to stay separated for the most part, thanks to a handy Magic Wand that obviously belongs in the gym, but it simply wouldn't be a threesome if the support were purely verbal (and don't forget about the Lane sisters' psychic powers). When the need arises, they will sandwich a shlong between their lips just like any dedicated porn team, though they might not make eye contact with each other.

Strike that, they will.

But the point when they truly come together is when they're being come upon and they press their beautiful mugs up against each other to collect and savor all that spills upon them. [Insert surreal comment about the exchange of genetic material here.]

We have a lot of questions about this movie that our preview gallery can't answer, but the most important questions about "2 Soeurs Lane" are if they ever get to Eiffel Tower a dude and if it's uncouth for French-Canadians to pay tribute to such a monument. Maybe they can only Vimy Memorial a dude.

· Buy "2 Soeurs Lane" (adultdvdempire.com)