“Quicksand” Is “Baywatch” Meets “Law And Order” Meets Porn

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Imagine if your favorite police or legal procedural or drama turned into some kind of thinky porn. No, really, let's think this one through. We tend to think The Good Wife lends itself nicely to that kind of adaptation, if only because Julianna Margulies and Chris Noth (somehow) are both so hot. "Law & Order: SVU" in its heyday would be prime porn fodder, what with Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay running around...if not for the violent, often disturbing sexual crimes involved. And then you have "The Wire." Yeah. No one is ready for that parody.

"Quicksand," thankfully, doesn't take itself too seriously. Tommy Gunn and Chanel Preston are a pair of homicide detectives drawn to the shore to investigate a recent string of murders in the local beach community. The only witnesses are Anikka Albrite, Teal Conrad, and Helly Hellfire, sexy lifeguards who are more than they seem. Chanel starts a fling with James Deen while on duty, and things only get more complicated as more and more people turn up dead.

Murder, sex, betrayal, and justice on the beach? Somehow it all makes sense. As people start dropping like flies, it's easy to see how at least a few would need a good lay to unwind.

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