Organ Implant Breakthrough: Behold the Miracle Vagina!

Scientists have made the first synthetic organs for implantation, and wouldn't you figure?  They are going to be vaginas!  After saluting the geniuses of such a lofty endeavor and praising them for setting priorities in order, I had just a few questions that us laymen need to know.

First and foremost in colossal significance, this could have game-changing applications for reborn Christians.  Imagine a transformation that could actually return a woman of any age to the purity of virginal innocence.  Forget how many times one transgressed and took pleasures in the sins of the flesh.  No matter how many wet joyrides, or miles a vagina was driven hard, there is a way to set back the vaginal odometer in the eyes of the Almighty.

Then, let's consider the Kama Sutra. This beloved ancient marriage manual is a tome describing a plethora of sexual positions (some require a mastery of yoga), but also it describes what is best for a hopefully compatible yoni and lingam.  For example, Elephant Men do not do well with Mouse Women, while Deer Man and Deer Women are assuredly a dear match of orgasmic organ suitability.  Now with a vaginal adjustment, balance and harmony could be secured on the path to Satori.  "Too big, it hurts" now can transform into a mantra chant of "that feels so good baby".

Come to think of it, here might lie the real reason for this breakthrough.  Now guys never have to feel the hidden shame of—how can I put it delicately, so as not to offend anyone…

The shame of being…

I mean feeling inadequate, for lack of a better, gentler term when it comes to size and girth.  Now with a quick vagina transplant, perhaps fitted a few sizes smaller, any man can feel like a living breathing sex god.  Salute the men of science for once again finding a way to improve sex for men, just like they did with birth control, putting the burden on women!  (Make sure to encourage the sciences for your daughters if you want that to change by the way).

Of course, finally, now I have to consider the prospects for applications in the wacky and wonderful world of pornography.  As owner of Homegrown Video, I have to stay updated on evolving trends in the market.  I saw the era of insanely huge boob jobs pass and could not have been happier. You would feel the same way too if you were smacked with a set.  I have happily regarded the return of the hirsute mons pubis, just like the Penthouse Pets sported in the Super Seventies.  Now I suppose there will be designer vaginas.

I can see it now when I gaze with a mixture of fascination, fixation, and a touch of reticence into the future of vagina transplant surgery.  On the one hairy palmed hand, much beloved starlets who have really stretched their acting chops to the limit can revitalize careers.  On the other hand, just like the bolt on boobs, too many young and upcoming debutante porn actresses will want to get the same vagina that made Jenna Jameson or Kim Kardashian famous.

Say it isn't so! I hope every woman can come to appreciate their God Given masterpieces as nature intended. Leave the vagina transplants to the cases where nature made a mistake and things just need to be fixed down there, for God's sakes.

About Farrell Timlake Owner, Homegrown Video Follow Homegrown on Twitter and Facebook.

I have been an eyewitness to the porn industry inside and out… in "Porn Valley" making amateur porn and intentionally out of Los Angeles to run Homegrown Video, in front of the camera and out of production entirely to help run a company, in the limelight with awards and innovations and out of synch with our peers… in and out, in and out, sometimes fucked, and other times fucked over. Now, here I come, and I am ready to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about the wacky and sometimes whack world of adult entertainment.