Two Hour Orgasms and Other Questionable Sex Milestones

May 15, 2014
COLEEN-AND-DAN-SINGER

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com

We go through life thinking we want things: fancy cars, huge houses, exotic vacations, expensive jewelry, designer clothes, or unselfish things like world peace, a clean environment, food for the hungry, and homes for all the puppies and kittens in the shelters. Some of us just want to be healthy and happy. Some of us want to experience better sex, and seek out opportunities to achieve just that. And some of us just want to marry our true loves.

One woman this week hit the jackpot on several of those fronts, but like the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. Imagine having an orgasm on your wedding day that lasts TWO HOURS. This new bride did just that, but the experience took so much out of her she ended up in the hospital. She was enjoying it at first, but after the first ten minutes or so she was just irritated and exhausted. The doctor treating her gave her Valium to stop the uncontrollable muscle spasms. The article doesn't say anything about what technique the husband was using to induce such long-lived pleasure. We'll just have to use our imaginations.

A two hour orgasm is something most of us could never imagine; heck, even an orgasm lasting longer than two minutes is probably unusual for most of us. But this article got me thinking, what other kinds of superhuman sexual feats are happening out there in the world?

The obvious place to start is orgasms: One woman holds the unofficial record for most orgasms experienced in one hour: one hundred and thirty four! Wow. Not sure what's more exhausting, over a hundred orgasms in an hour or one long drawn out orgasm lasting two hours. I'm also trying to imagine the muscle control necessary to achieve either one of these feats. This web page lists a number of interesting world records of the sexual variety. The record for most male orgasms in an hour is sixteen. So I guess women have something going on in the stamina department, according to this terse list of sexual record setters.

Some of the records are kinda gross: the furthest a jet of semen has spurted, for example. Or the woman who had more than a liter of semen pumped from her stomach after she swallowed the ejaculate of, one would guess, more than a few men. One "gangbang" record for a woman is six hundred and twenty men in one day. The event was filmed, took about ten hours total, and each act of intercourse took less than a minute. I sure hope they used condoms. Other records (all of them seem to be unofficial, but Wikipedia takes it very seriously in their "gangbang" entry) say one pornstar had sex with more than nine hundred men (919 to be exact) in one uninterrupted session of less than twenty four hours.

Did you know the largest orgy on record took place in Japan almost a decade ago? It involved two hundred and fifty men and two hundred and fifty women, and was captured on video. You can even buy it on DVD! The photos make it all look very well organized and clean, almost methodical, which seems kinda weird, because, you know, ORGY. Then again, Japan. Things are clean and orderly there, they have to be, because the country's landmass is so small. Which makes it ironic they had the largest orgy on record. Which really doesn't look so much like an orgy (which I always think of as a heap of sweaty, squirming bodies all in a pile so that no one person can be recognized), as it does two hundred and fifty couples having sex side by side, in long rows, all in the same big room. Oh well, maybe the organizers wanted to be able to keep track of everyone easily.

Of course, you want to know about some other sexy world records, like the world's largest breast implants, surgically constructed with twenty two enlargement procedures, at a total cost of over $250,000, at 38KKK! But the woman who got them eventually developed a severe infection after one surgery performed in Brazil, and the implants had to be removed.

Whew, I am tired just thinking about all these feats of superlative sexual stuff! If you want any more you'll have to Google them for yourself…

About Coleen Singer
Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.