New PSA for Gun Safety Uses Sex Toys: Genius!!!

July 4, 2014
COLEEN-AND-DAN-SINGER

By Coleen Singer at Sssh.com

A brilliant new ad by gun saftey group Evolve promoting gun safety has a somewhat naughty conceit: two young suburban moms are trying to get their sons to stop playing so one of them can go home for dinner. The boys run through the front doorway where the two moms are chatting, waving toys as if they’re playing with fake weapons. It turns out the two boys are carrying rather large VIBRATORS. The mom who lives there (and who is presumably the owner of the sex toys) looks mortified, and the other mom looks just a bit shocked. The sound of the toys being turned on adds to the awkwardness and hilarity. The tag line? “If they find it, they’ll play with it. Lock up your guns.”

In other words, treat your guns with as much discretion as you treat your sex toys, i.e. don’t leave them lying around for your kids to find.

Which of course, begs the question: have there ever been any lethal incidents or serious injuries involving sex toys in the home? Yes, that’s what this made me wonder about.

Well, I suppose as with many products used during sex, what we call “user failure” is an important factor. One woman ended up hurting herself using a vibrator and ended up in the hospital. Apparently she felt a sharp pain after her boyfriend inserted the vibrator into her vagina and she experienced some fairly heavy bleeding and had to be given several pints of blood before she recovered. The company, Pipedream Products, was eventually sued by the woman for an undisclosed amount despite paying her compensation after her accident.

Then there was this unfortunate young lady who was the victim of a hit and run. The paramedics who moved her unconscious body (she later recovered) found her iPod in her shorts and also a vibrator which was also attached to, um, her body using similar wires. It is not known if the accident resulted in part from her being distracted by her use of either of these personal technology devices; she was hit from behind by a motorcycle and suffered a broken arm and other injuries. The message here may be the same one your mom used to give you about wearing clean underwear every day: “What if you’re in an accident? Do you want the doctors in the emergency room to see your Pocket Rocket?”

One key thing about sex toy safety is: don’t be an idiot! Use your sex toys appropriately and safely. Feel free to read the directions or ask your friendly sex shop employee for advice. This moron apparently put a sex toy over a saber saw blade and then used it on his girlfriend, and surprise! She ended up seriously injured. Because he was USING A SAW BLADE ON HER! Jeez, dude. I hope you bought her some really nice flowers and chocolates after that one. And maybe got rid of his power tools.

This article describes some of the weirdest sex mishaps ever. It’s not for the faint of heart, as some of the mishaps were deadly, and involved a range of behaviors that ARE DEFINITELY NOT RECOMMENDED. Like knife play during sex (Yeah, this is really not a good idea, kids). Or injecting cocaine into your penis (Oh my gosh, PLEASE PLEASE DON’T DO THAT). Or autoerotic asphyxiation, which is always a tragedy (Find some game partner to do this WITH, for heaven’s sake).

Just when you thought the most dangerous thing about having sex was contracting a disease, you find out there’s a whole lot of ways to hurt yourself and others, not to mention causing some rather awkward and embarrassing moments. Having sex should involve the same level headedness you’d use while engaged in target practice. Use your head, follow the rules, make sure everything is in good working order, and don’t go off half-cocked (see what I did there? it refers to guns but it’s a cute little sexual innuendo, too). Be careful out there and have fun!