Russia Has Lost Contact With Its Satellite Full Of Sex Geckos

The United States may have turned its back on space exploration and experimentation, but the Russians are still up there doing some patently crazy shit. According to The Washington Post (link below), their most recent experiment went south in a hurry and Russia's lost contact with a satellite containing five sex geckos.

In brief, last week Russia lost contact with the Foton-M4 satellite, containing five hardy gecko cosmonauts (one male, four female) who had been sent up to test the effects of zero gravity on gecko sex. There are hapless geckos orbiting us as we speak, copulating vigorously for science, awaiting our rescue. Their food supply will run out in two months, before they come crashing back to earth on their own.

Satirist John Oliver issued a call to rescue the geckos, claiming that it's not the most pressing issue in the world right now, but certainly one of the easiest to solve. He rallied a number of celebrities to his cause as well, including Richard Branson and Buzz Aldrin, uniting everyone under the hashtag #GoGetThoseGeckos. 

He even encouraged viewers to go to the Kremlin's official website and send a strongly worded letter to everyone's favorite foreign leader and Bond villain, Vladimir Putin. So come on folks, let's put the heat on Putin to go get those geckos. 

UPDATE: Russia claims to have regained contact with the geckos, and lord knows, the Russian media never spins anything. Ever. 

Via The Washington Post