Scary Holiday Sex Toy Gift Suggestions

Sex toy gifts are often thought of as playful, intimate, even caring—but as we've learned the hard way over the years (the Marital Aid Test Kitchen really should merit us some Gawker hazard pay), some sex toy inventions are closer in kin to medieval torture devices than tokens of lust. So this year if you decide to keep your friends close and your enemies closer (to the ER), see how they'll like the Knapsack, a sex machine that straps to the victim's back and penetrates with Basic Instinct icepick precision. (We're sure that running away only angers the Knapsack.) The Ancient Dream Fucking Bicycle could only result in undreamed of road rash; the Fucking Pegasus ("love on the wings!") would be impossible to explain to authorities; or worse, give her a Fristic, billed as "the most effective clitoral stimulator"—for girls with clits of steel, that is. -V. Blue

· Knapsack (motorfun.biz)
· Ancient Dream Fucking Bicycle (motorfun.biz)
· Fucking Pegasus (motorfun.biz)
· Fristic (video, fristic.com, thanks Cory!)

Previously: Top Ten Sex Toy Patents, Fleshbot's Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide