DVD: “Fuck Pig: The Movie”

December 18, 2006
GPONATE2

Just so you know, the emphasis in the title of Jim Powers' latest movie for JM Productions should be on the word "Fuck", as "Fuck" is the type of pig we're talking about, rather than on "Pig", which would indicate—"Drink Milk" or "Eat Beef"-style—that we as a nation need to fuck more pigs. (And I, for one, don't.)

You should also know that the title "Fuck Pig" does just fine without "The Movie" after it, because our own subcontracted interns at Fleshbot's Barrio Division found no references to "Fuck Pig: The Ride", "Fuck Pig: The Breakfast Cereal", or "Remo 'Fuck Pig' Williams: The Adventure Begins" anywhere on the web (well, except for here, which is why I will never want for those sheer nipple-agitating Fleshbot t-shirts).

Read more about this movie after the gap. - GP

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The ever-plucky Gia Paloma is abducted by mountain men and thrown into a garage with other women who are made to wear pig noses and treated like "Fuck Pigs".

The following probably did not happen:

("Fuck Pigs" writer/director JIM POWERS enters MOGUL's office, hat in hand)
POWERS: ... And I have the noses already!
MOGUL: I'll give you ten million dollars! Just make sure you misspell something on the front cover so we can be sure to piss off Albert Camus' estate. I had to do a book report on "The Stranger" and I couldn't understand a god-damn thing!

While the intriguing kidnap/porcification story devolves into a series of unrelated sex scenes, people who make distinctions between types of pornographic exploitation will have no difficulty at all labeling this movie Probably Not Empowering.

Paloma is finally found by the police, but she is quite insane. She spends her time making squealing noises and pleasuring herself in a warehouse. She has colored her hair since her madness (and since the movie was shot over nine months, apparently). I like the new look.