Author Martin Amis Imagines What Hitler’s Sex Life Was Like

October 15, 2014
TUCKER-BANKSHOT

So, uh, you guys want to know about Hitler's sex life? Well, Martin Amis, noted provocateur and author of The Rachael Papers, has some interesting theories about Hitler's sex life and he's written them down for us to enjoy in his latest book, The Zone of Interest.

According to The Telegraph (link below), Amis' latest novel, his second set during the Holocaust, imagines sexual encounters between Hitler and Eva Braun which tend toward the bizarre.

The author believes Hitler was asexual and obsessive about hygiene, and that he would achieve climax by looking at Braun rather than touching her.

"I would hazard this is how it went with Hitler and Eva," Amis said.

"He would fortify his underpants with clean serviettes and napkins.

Then he would go into some sort of excitation with Eva Braun staying a safe distance.

"There would be bourgeois perversion because he was the bourgeois anti-Christ - don't forget the bourgeois in him. I imagine Eva would stand a distance away and lift her skirt. Then there would be some sort of soggy climax on Hitler's part and that would be that."

So why, you may ask, did Amis choose to scar us for life with the image of Hitler prematurely ejaculating in his napkin-lined underpants? Well the answer is really quite simple.

"No-one understands Hitler. No-one understands what he was up to. And I don't want to be reductive here or simplistic or frivolous, but I'm convinced that one of the reasons why we don't recognise Hitler is that he's sexually a void," he said.

"Sexuality is one of the ways we recognise each other: knowing whether someone is married or gay or whatever it might be.

"In Hitler studies there are three schools of thought about his sexuality.

"One is normality, which I think you can boot out for consideration immediately. Can you see Eva Braun relishing a post-coital cigarette? Can you imagine Hitler's tender foreplay, him being a considerate and energetic lover? No, you can't begin to imagine. So I would say normality is out.

"Asexuality is the other one, the third one is perversion... There are no real clues about his sexuality except that he wouldn't take his clothes off even for his physician and he was also fanatical about cleanliness, which suggests to be asexuality plus."

Cool, glad I have a better understanding now of why you think he remorselessly slaughtered millions of people. Thanks chief.

Via The Telegraph