Do You Wanna Be A Dicknose For Halloween? Then Have We Got The Accessory For You!

In one of my dad's favorite films, My Blue Heaven, Barney delivers his theory on why his and Vinnie's wives left them in October thusly, "The pressure of Halloween? You never know what to go as." Well I've got good news for you married people of the world wrestling with this same problem... This Halloween, you can go as a dicknose. 

That's right, folks! For just a buck and change, you will be the talk of the neighborhood and perhaps even end up meeting some new and interesting parents that want to have a word with you about what exactly it is that you're wearing on your face. According to Deadspin (link below), this is purportedly a "Wizard Nose," designed to be worn as part of a Merlin-esque Wizard ensemble replete with conical hat and robe bedazzled with stars. 

This has to be a joke, right? I see "Made in China" right there under the barcode. This is a cruel prank perpetrated by workers whose only joy comes in their 10 minutes of sunlight a day. I know that if I were to ever find myself laboring away on cheap goods for the American masses, I would take every opportunity to fuck with us cheap bastards I could get. 

No word on where you can purchase one for yourself, but I'm gonna say Dollar General. I'm fairly certain I've seen this in their stores.

Via Deadspin