What Do Tampon and Female Sex Toy Commercials Have In Common?

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women and Couples

I noticed an interesting occurrence today. In my line of work, I get a lot of sex toys to review. Yes, I have the best job, I know. If only I could give used sex toys away as gifts and Christmas shopping would be a breeze. Now, back to the strange occurrence. I mean, I should’ve noticed it sooner. I guess it’s because I don’t go to manufacturer websites to shop for toys, rather they arrive in my mailbox. Yes, I know. Best job in the world. 

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I hadn’t noticed the different ways that sex toys are marketed to women and men. I mean it should’ve been obvious, but I guess I wasn’t paying attention. That said, I am sure I haven’t visited all the sex toys stores online. But today, I was on a few different websites for ‘work’ reasons *cough*.

While on a woman’s sex toy store, or at least selling toys more dedicated to women, it felt like I was in a tampon commercial. You know the kind that has a woman prancing around in white capri pants, living life because that time of the month is just so… enjoyable and easy.

The website was mostly white, clean and safe. Browsing through toys, it felt like the message I was receiving was, “Don’t worry. This is safe. This is clean. This is not slutty. You’re still a good girl.” I mean, it’s not that it was a bad layout or anything, but comparing it to the men’s sexy toy shop I visited it was vastly different.

At a store aimed at men, I was immediately greeted by naked women, vaginas and big boobs. They weren’t pulling any punches! Each toy they were selling was modeled along with a hot woman, sexily holding the toy, as if to say, “If you get this, you’re really fucking me…”

Where else women’s toys are mostly catalogued without any human presence. Almost clinical.

Safe. That’s the word.

I mean, I can’t blame the manufacturers really. They have to do what works. When I walk into a brick and mortar sex toy store catering to men, I come out feeling kinda icky and mildly violated even though no violation occurred. Just the copious amounts of jarring imagery coming my way feels like I’m being assaulted by big, fake tittied, big haired women in various stages of undress.

But again, walk into a more inclusive sex toy store and suddenly toys are laid out in a more casual (sometimes even clinical way); to a point that sometimes you’re left wondering what in the world a certain toy actually does. 

Just like a tampon commercial, toys are displayed in ways that have almost nothing to do with what it’s made for. I can’t decide if this is because sellers targeting women want to neutralize sex toys so that women don’t feel shame buying them, or if women just don’t go for overtly sexual images. Probably a little bit of both.

There are of course stores targeting women that are less tampon commercial, more sexy kitten, burlesque/pole dancer. There again lies the difference, all ads, placements, displays are made to look classy. Even the ‘dirty’ bits are classy dirty. Not skanky dirty. Sensual is the word I’m looking for. Basically, a woman has to be able to imagine herself using, wearing, being whatever she’s looking at.

So for the men, they need a hot girl there that they imagine fucking, while women either need a neutral space that doesn’t trigger any of their shame buttons or a classy space where they can safely imagine themselves in. Yeah, even when it involves sex toys we’re complicated.

About Coleen Singer:

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen), where she often waxes eloquent about Female Friendly Porn, sex, pleasure products, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.

Visit Coleen at Sssh.com for more sex news, commentary and hot porn for women and couples!