Fleshbot’s Friday Five: Alexis Malone

After a bit of a hiatus, Alexis Malone is back in porn (which, as we're sure you're aware, we're rather excited about). We are, of course, excited to explore (sexplore?) all her latest adventures (sexventures?) – but on the eve of her return to the adult industry, it seems appropriate to look back over her decade plus porn career and remember why, exactly, we fell in love with her in the first place. Get your helmets on and strap yourselves in, folks: we're going on a very erotic journey through the first decade of the twenty-first century (remember those days?).

Joey Silvera's New Girls: Not surprisingly, Alexis Malone was hot to trot even in the earliest days of her career – as directors as illustrious as Joey Silvera were more than happy to document. This early scene features Ms. Malone – still an innocent young girl from Pennsylvania – doing her laundry and then, ahem, getting a little bit of pleasure out of riding the dryer (who says laundry isn't erotic?). Post-chores, she connects with Mark Davis for an ultra hot kitchen romp. We've never before been this turned on by scenes of domesticity.

Magic Sex Genie: There are a lot of things we'd wish for if we had access to a magic sex genie – and sex with Alexis Malone would likely be one of them. But what would Alexis Malone wish for? To be honest, we don't really know, but the character she plays in this movie wishes for sex with a super hot rock star – one who, unfortunately, has already passed on to the next world. Now, we know you're imagining a scenario in which Alexis Malone gets hot zombie sex, but no, this movie doesn't take that monkey's paw type of turn. Instead, Alexis is spirited up to heaven for an other worldly romp with Barrett Blade. Is it kind of weird? Yes. But that's porn from 2004 for you. (Also, Ron Jeremy is the genie because of course he is.)

2 Million Dollar Ass: If you're one in a million, there are still several thousand of you in the world. But if you're got a two million dollar ass? Well, we're pretty sure that that's a bit more rare. Malone shows audiences just how her derriere's valuation was determined, teasing us with some barely there short shorts before revealing everything to costar Tyce Bune. The two engage in a whole lot of oral and vaginal (and quite a bit of oral to vaginal), leaving us to wonder what, exactly, is the valuation of the rest of the Alexis Malone package? (Too rich for our blood, we're sure.)

Angels of Debauchery 4: Alexis named this scene one of her favorites – so let's investigate why it earned that incredible honor. First and foremost there's the fact that Alexis appears alongside her all time favorite male performer Billy Glide, who double teams her with Mark Ashley. But there's also the amazing – and occasionally bizarre – lengths the trio goes to to truly exemplify the concept of debauchery. XCritic notes the following acts in play: "Masturbation, Dueling Head, Deep Throating, Dick to Tit Play, Champagne Play, Salad Tossing, Cunnilingus, Blow Job, Doggy, Fingering, Mish, Anal Tongue Fucking, Vaginal Gaping, Chocking, Male Tit Play, Champagne Bottle Fucking, Pearl Necklace and Bracelet in Vagina, Jewelry V to M, JPX Action, Reverse Cowgirl, Face Fucking, $hots in Mouth, Bottle Snowballing, Shoe Spunk Sipping" – and no, you're not misreading that "jewelry to v to m" appears in the scene (as well as champagne bottle fucking, oh my). With so much going on, it'd be easy for this to devolve into something completely ridiculous; but the trio's chemistry manages to make even the most off the wall activities feel totally natural – and incredibly hot.

Car Wash: Alexis Malone's favorite female performer is Lanny Barbie – so what better way to conclude this compendium than with a scene where they get to be intimately acquainted? As the title suggests, this porn is set at a bikini car wash (run by cheerleaders who are trying to raise money, because obviously). This being a porn film, the action at the car wash frequently tends towards the erotic; and when Lanny Barbie and Nick Manning roll in to get their car tended to do, the bikinis disappear and the action gets a whole lot more dirty. The film may not quite reach the classic level of that other cheerleaders raise money through sex film, "Debbie Does Dallas," but it does over a delightful look at what it is that Alexis enjoys about Lanny... and a whole lot more of what Nick enjoys about the both of them (separately and together). Piss play fans will appreciate the scene's conclusion – though, we gotta say, we just appreciate the chance to see Alexis getting it on. Welcome back, girl – we can't wait to see what you do next!