Steel Yourself For A Great Story Involving A Machete, A Bong, & A Sex Shop

If there is one truth in this world, it's that sex toy shops are where shit goes down. If shit's going down in a retailer, odds are they sell sex toys. Case in point, this story out of Southern California where a man attempting to rob a sex toy shop was thwarted by a machete-wielding security guard, but not before hitting guard with a bong. 

According to LAist (link below), the store sells bongs, so the would-be robber likely selected one from the store's inventory to strike back against the security guard, who apparently came to work that day armed with a machete.

Attempted robbery took place at the Couples Mega Outlet on the 900 block of Euclid Avenue in Anaheim on Friday night around 11:15 p.m. According to NBC 4, the alleged robber was armed with a hammer but struck the security guard with a "glass water pipe" (a bong, in the parlance of our times). Lieutenant Bob Dunn of the Anaheim Police Department told KTLA that the guard struck back against the attacker with a machete, hitting him in the head.

The "virtual tour" of the Lomita Couples Mega Outlet on their official website (very slightly NSFW link) shows that bongs and smoking pipes are for sale at the store. No machetes are to be seen in the inventory.

The guard used the machete to hold the suspect until authorities arrived to arrest him. The guard was treated at the scene for his injuries.

True story. A dear friend of mine worked at a sex toy shop owned by his uncle while we were in college and was smacked across the face by a crazy person wielding a double sided dildo. I'm withholding his name as this is not a story he finds as funny as I do, but it's the first thing that popped into my head. I know that there's not much you can wield when defending yourself against a machete, but a big, thick dildo would have been a better choice than a glass bong that likely shattered when he hit the security guard. 

Via LAist