Introducing A New Sex Toy For Foot Fetishists & Psychopaths

The sex toy that foot fetishists have always dreamed of is finally here, and it will thankfully also appeal to the burgeoning market of dudes who want to fuck a severed limb. That's right, it's the Vajankle, the sex toy for everyone on your gift list, provided your gift list includes the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Jeffrey Dahmer. 

According to BuzzFeed (link below), this is an actual product and not a nightmare induced fever dream.

Life-sized silicon dolls are the main focus of Sinthetics’ business, but the Vajankle was originally developed as a bespoke customer order. “He said he wanted to be able to see and massage the sole of the foot while having sex with it”, a Sinthetics spokesperson told BuzzFeed. With feet being such a popular fetish, it made sense to put the Vajankle into production. “A lot of people REALLY love feet and we’re happy to support that market” Sinthetics continued. “We sell very large numbers of feet and also penises”.

To whom are you selling large numbers of feet and penises, friend? You know, I really try not to be such a hard hearted cynical bastard. It's not like I drive to work every morning thinking, "What am I going to take a shit on this morning?" Then something like this comes across my desk and my faith in humanity takes such a precipitous drop, I begin to pray for my day to be over. Is there any way to use this thing so you don't look like some sort of sideshow attraction? Honestly! 

Sinthetics’ commitment to diversity doesn’t just extend to niche fetishes - you can choose your sexy foot in one of thirteen skintones too, from “cream” to “espresso”, with the delectable sounding “chai”, “honey” and “toffee” in between.

You can even choose whether to have the toenails painted cherry red, with a tasteful French pedicure, or even a custom finish - sexy spelled out in nail art jewels, perhaps, if glamour’s your thing.

“The typical toenails are the French pedicure, with Cherry toenails being the next most popular”, Sinthetics told us, “but people do get more daring and we’ve recently had requests for turquoise, black, navy blue, dark purple, and cute art nails”.

I like to picture some lunatic that owns one of these going down to the local nail salon and attempting to convince one of the women there to paint the toenails on this thing. Does he bring it there in a garbage bag? Has he showered this month? So many questions. The Vajankle can be purchased individually for $179, or purchased as a pair for that next level psychopath on your list. Here are some more pictures for good measure. If I can't unsee this, neither can the rest of you...

Via BuzzFeed