Lise Slabber’s Full Frontal Nudity Has All Hands On Dick

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Are you one of those people that takes International Talk Like A Pirate Day (Sept. 19th this year) way too seriously? I always forget about it until I see someone downtown during my commute spew out a few "aargh, mateys" and "avast, me hearties!" in the line at Starbuck's. The joy people get talking like a bunch of thieving, raping, swashbucklers with bad teeth who hated vitamin C confuses me. Not that I'm trying to spoil anyone's fun, mind you. If there's ever an International Talk Like An Old Timey Cole Miner Day or Replace All Pronouns With Fuck Day, I'll be sure to join in and have a ball. We're all just trying to past the time on this crazy planet we call earth.  

One thing I'll give pirates credit for is the amount of booty they got. On Starz's Black Sails, Lise Slabber shows all the goods (her big treasure chest and her merkin-covered clam) after swashbuckling some guy. If talking like a pirate gets you this kind of pleasure, I may have to rethink my resentment towards them. I'd love to drop anchor in Ms. Slabber!