Only in Florida: Excuse Me Sir, Something Is Bulging In Your Pants

In my new weekly column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

This week, let's head to the beautiful coastal town of Vero Beach, a little more than two hours drive north from Miami... 

This fella here is 40-year old Jason Rice, who was just shopping for some sandwiches at supermarket Publix when he determined that he didn't have enough money to complete the transaction. So what did this industrious gentleman do? What anyone would do under similar circumstances... Shoved the sandwiches in his pants.

A loss prevention official told an Indian River County Sheriff’s deputy she spied a man later identified as Jason Rice, 40, stick a pair of deli sandwiches in his pants.

The loss prevention official tried to confront Rice as Rice headed toward the exit, but Rice “stated something to the effect of, get the (expletive) out of my way.”

The loss prevention official noticed a “noticeable bulge” in Rice’s pants where the sandwiches were secreted.

She also saw the license plate on Rice’s black Ford truck.

Investigators spoke with Rice at his home. He said he had two sandwiches made, but left them in the store in the shopping cart after checking his bank account and determining he lacked the funds to complete the $15.98 purchase.

Store video, however, showed Rice push a cart out of the store.

Rice then said he pushed an empty cart out of the store.

“I asked him if he pushed an empty cart out, then where did he leave the sandwiches,” an affidavit states. “Rice then declined to further discuss the incident.”

Loss Prevention: Always on the lookout for noticeable bulges. 

Via Off the Beat