Revenge Porn Unnecessary Reminder: Craig Brittain is Full of Shit

By Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women

On January 29, the FTC announced it had reached a settlement with “revenge porn” site operator Craig Brittain of IsAnyBodyDown.com, an alleged “man” who I would like to hereby remind you is an unmitigated loser so entirely full of shit, you can smell him from across the country every time he opens his fool mouth.

The day after the FTC announced its settlement, Brittain took to his blog and posted a long, rambling pseudo-apology wherein he says he’s sorry for hurting people’s feelings while continuing to firmly deny basically every single one of the most serious allegations leveled against him over the last few years.

“I ask for your forgiveness,” the thoroughly despicable little shit writes. “What I did was wrong.”

This would be a good start, if it weren’t for his subsequent pathetic, transparently untrue attempt to “set the record straight,” as he puts it.

“The agreement states that I neither confirm or deny the FTCs findings,” Brittain notes, dutifully parroting the same perfunctory rhetorical device which previously has been employed by every entity which ho has ever settled with the FTC. 

For example, you can expect First American Title Lending of Georgia to NOT admit “deceptively advertising the cost of their loans,” even though it’s pretty clear the FTC had the evidence in hand to prove it, just as 180solutions (AKA “Zango”) denied any wrongdoing back in 2006, and just as HerbaLife undoubtedly will do once the FTC decides how to punish them in a case currently under consideration.

“I naturally deny all of their findings,” Brittain continues, “but agreed with the terms and conditions because I have no interest, and never had any real interest in operating IAD.” 

The above statement makes perfect sense to me, because like most people, I routinely register domain names, then build and promote websites on said domain names, even though I have no interest in operating the websites I just built. 

Similarly, I have no interest in being drunk during daylight hours, which is why immediately down nine shots of tequila as quickly as possible each and every morning as soon as my alarm goes off.

Starting around the 32^nd numbered paragraph of Brittain’s self-pitying screed, he gets to the real meat of his story. Wouldn’t you know it: Brittain is the victim here!

“The press, by and large, reprinted the baseless allegations of affiliates of this man, James McGibney,” Brittain writes, craftily employing another classic technique of the inveterate liar: Blatant misdirection.

Over the course of the next several paragraphs, Brittain exposes the “affiliates” of his torturer McGibney, which include attorney/bloggers Marco Randazza and Kenneth White “and anyone else in their circle, by extension.”

To be clear, it’s true both Randazza and White have written about Brittain at length, but if you actually read what they wrote about him, then compare those posts side by side with Brittain’s evasive, self-pitying deflection, I think you’ll come to the same conclusion I have about who has the greater credibility. 

On the one hand, we have two attorneys of national reputation who are members in good standing of several state bar associations, as well as organizations like the First Amendment Lawyers Association. On the other hand, we have a guy who just told us he courted serious legal trouble and eagerly inspired the public to thoroughly despise him in furtherance of operating a site he had no interest in operating.

Yes, even though White and Randazza are (by their own admission) lawyers, I’m going to have to side with them in this particular debate. For some crazy reason, I just believe Brittain has more to gain by lying about having fairly recently committed clear acts of extortion than any two attorneys had to gain by opining Brittain was, in fact, engaged in extortion.

The best part of Brittain’s odd non-apology is yet to come, however, because the true Grand Conspiracy involves not two First Amendment specialists with blogs, but none other than the Obama Administration itself!

According to Brittain, the statement in his settlement with the FTC holding that he neither denies nor admits the allegations “says it all.”

The whole point of the FTC’s order, Brittain bravely discloses, is to “formally claim credit for the closure of a website closed 2 years ago because of the strong anti-government, anti-mainstream media views of the domain owner, and for the PR benefit of an Administration with a 37% approval rating.”

Yes, Craig, I’m sure that’s it: You got busted because Obama need a boost in the polls and your “strong anti-government, anti-mainstream media views” were simply too threatening to his Administration! 

Clearly, Craig, you have cracked the case, peeled back the layers of the onion, taken the red pill and lifted the veil on a tale of heartless oppression by a quasi-socialist dictator who feared the power of your charisma. 

Obviously, President Obama took note of your swelling popularity among the unwashed masses and ordered the jackbooted thugs of the FTC Gestapo to immediately undertake the shockingly oppressive action of reaching a rather tame and inconsequential consent agreement with you.

This much I can’t deny, though: The above conspiracy theory actually makes just as much sense as anything else Craig Brittain has written in his own defense.

There is a silver lining to all of this government oppression, however: Brittain is now committing himself to the anti-revenge porn movement!

“If you know other ways that I can contribute to helping to stop “Revenge Porn” or any exploitative forms of media, please contact me,” Brittain writes, with a level of believability unrivaled since Oliver North left the Congressional witness stand.

“I love you all and wish only the best for everyone,” Brittain concludes. “I do not want to be the person I was in 2013. I am a different person now. Please, help me to choose the right path.”

This might come as a shock, but this last part I actually believe. 

You see, back in 2013, Brittain was an insufferably arrogant sack of shit who thought he had figured out a clever loophole in the law which allowed him to extort people with total impunity, whereas now he’s whimpering little weasel desperately trying to avoid further consequences for his reprehensible conduct.

OK, so maybe that’s not the manner of self-improvement which would draw rave reviews from Dr. Phil, but hopefully it is enough to lead Craig Brittain to crawl back inside the dank, fetid hole in Cyberspace from which he originally emerged…. And stay there.

About Coleen Singer:

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen), where she often waxes eloquent about Female Friendly Porn, sex, pleasure products, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.

Visit Coleen at Sssh.com for more kinky sex news, original movies and h