Morning Wood

· Big sticky love and congrats to our own Violet Blue, who has just been named the new sex columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle. Hate to pull rank in her hour of celebration, but remember: we saw her first. (tinynibbles.com)

· Some defective boob tape reveals 1/100th of an inch (all figures are approximate) of Beyonce's areola. So close, yet so far away. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· Always looking out for our filthy interests, Lifehacker puts together a greatest hits package with the best tips for surfing the web privately and anonymously. We're totally sending them a Christmas card this year. (Lifehacker)

· Forget hair gel and suntan lotion, but personal lubricants - a.k.a. "sex grease" - are once again safe to carry on airplanes. You'll need the whole tube just to squeeze two people into one of those bathrooms. (Wonkette)

· A brothel in Sydney, Australia, is offering gas discounts to draw in customers. When you're paying more for a tankful of regular than you do for a blowjob, that's when you know times are tough. (news.com.au)

· South Korea discovers the phenomenon that is the adult trade "sexpo." You never forget your first booth babe. (chosun.com + times.hankooki.com)

· What's the newest vile threat to our children? Art museums. Yes, exposing your kids to culture may also expose them to paintings of naked ladies, so perhaps you should go back to letting the TV raise them. (houstonist.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives