I Wouldn’t Be Meghan Trainor’s Future Husband

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women and Couples

Somehow Meghan Trainor was tipped into the ‘strong-feminist-modern’ woman camp with her song, All About that Bass which became sort of an anthem for being body positive - All because she sang about curves (or ‘bass’), though not without dumping on skinny girls (body positive should include all body types, not just the curvy). But you know, it was still a catchy tune and if it helped some women out there love their body, then sure.

But now Ms Trainor is donning her best apron and singing to her future husband. 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with setting some standards about whom you’d like to date, but seriously? Aren’t we past the whole, “You gotta treat me like a princess, work for it, and maybe I’ll bless you with my presence and sex” type of pseudo feminist bravado? I get it that in the past we had to play this card so that the pendulum could swing from “woman = nothing” to “woman = better than man” in order for us to get to a more balanced feminism in which we’re just trying to find equal ground and respect for all. But this is 2015. We’re past the whole, “I’ll control you with my sex”. We’re trying to get over that dammit.

The whole song comes off as totally entitled and obnoxious - when I’m sure she meant to come across as strong, girl power type whatever she was hoping for. First she sings about how she’ll be the perfect wife (IF you buy her flowers and take her on dates) by buying groceries and “buy, buying what you need…” and in the next verse she makes sure you know that she can’t cook so she’ll be having none of that crap. 

I’m certainly not one for perfect wifery, but I’m pretty certain it involves a whole lot more than groceries and a whole lot less mixed messages. 

While all of this is annoying on its own, the thing that annoyed me the most was the whole using sex as a way to control her ‘future husband’. She sings numerous times:

Dear future husband,

If you wanna get that special lovin'

Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

and...

After every fight

Just apologize

And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right

and...

I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey)

Open doors for me and you might get some kisses

Don't have a dirty mind

Just be a classy guy

 So in one silly song Meghan Trainor has just managed to pitch women firmly into the sexist camp. Because this song is bloody sexist. If a man were to sing about a woman in this manner, we’d be all up in arms about just how much of a douchebag he is (hello Robin Thicke). And truth be told, I like my man with a little bit of a dirty mind. 

 This song is a great disservice to all women out there who don’t act this way, who actually want a fair and balanced relationship, who are working hard to dispel any stupid “you gotta work for it boy!” type of values (not to be confused with respect), and especially to women (and men) who are trying to make sex something normal and natural and not something to dangle as a form of reward.

 If I had a pair of leather, designer gloves, I would throw it down in frustration now. 

 I cringe when I think a whole bunch of young girls (and some boys) are listening to this crap thinking they have to demand entitled stupidity in order to be a strong, independent, modern woman. This is not an empowered woman and that most certainly isn’t a healthy relationship. 

About Coleen Singer

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes good sex and quality porn!