Gummy Breasts

Yesterday's amazing story of an Israeli woman's silicone breast implants repelling a Hezbollah rocket attack is bound to compel millions of women to justify the acquisition of always-on body armor. But in this perilous world, will just regular old silicone implants do? Those who want the first name in protection need only try "Gummy Bear Breast Implants". These high-strength silicone gel breast implants have a tighter molecular bonds in the silicone, making a semi-solid that when cut is similar to cutting into a gummy bear. Or at least that's what the website says—we haven't tried it ourselves. Yet.

· Gummy Bear Breast Implants (gummybearbreastimplants.com)

Previously: Plastic Assets, Invest In My Breast, Boob Grant, Send Ashley to College, Breast Enlargement Simulator, Porno Plastic Surgery: Hall of Fame, Ugly Breast Implants, The Breast Expert