Only in Florida: He Knows What The Ladies Like

In my weekly column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

Ladies, meet Hal Hamrick...

Ol' Hal here is looking for a lady, and since he knows what the ladies like, he took matters into his own hands. No, he didn't create a Tinder profile or ask to be set-up with a co-worker. According to Off the Beat (link below), he did the one thing all women like: He exposed himself in front of a Target and later in front of a Babies R Us.

A witness told Port St. Lucie police he saw a man in a Miami Heat shirt and athletic shorts exposing himself. The man twice put his genitals out for view in front of Target, and once in front of Babies “R” Us.

“Each time he attempted to use a trash receptacle as cover for the act,” an affidavit states.

Hamrick told police he was “exposing himself for the ladies.”

“He wants to find a lady and they like when he does that,” an affidavit states.

Here's what I can tell you Hal, just for future reference. Next time, you're gonna want to try this in front of a K-Mart. They don't give a shit what happens in front of their stores. Dude tried to sell me one of his rap cds yesterday and I can't tell you how many times I've been hit up by the 20 year old "kids" selling candy bars for new basketball jerseys. Trust me Hal, K-Mart's the way to go. In a pinch, a Wal-Mart will work. Really any store with Mart in the name is probably the place for this kind of aggressive dating strategy. 

Via Off the Beat