Only in Florida: He Found The Fountain Of Youth… In His Pants

In my weekly column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

It's a tough time to be an out of work gymnastics instructor, and no one knows this better than 54 year old Boris Ponce de Leon... 

You probably took one look at Boris' mugshot and thought, wait a minute, this guy couldn't hold down a job as a gymnastics instructor? But he looks so stable. Well, he's not. Not only was he let go from his job at Epic Gymnastics in Riviera Beach, he was arrested shortly thereafter for public masturbation. According to The Sun Sentinal, Ponce de Leon "was arrested after he was caught walking around his apartment complex naked while masturbating."

West Palm Beach police said an officer was patrolling the area when he was flagged down by a woman who said she lived in the Ponte Verde Apartments at 1401 Village Blvd just before 10 a.m. Sunday.

The woman, 32, said she was on her way to work when she saw her neighbor standing in his front doorway, naked and masturbating, according to the report.

She just had to add that she was on her way to work to rub salt into this poor guy's wound, didn't she?

She told police she didn't know her neighbor's name, but that she had caught him watching her and recording her on several occasions, according to the report.

As the officer turned toward the apartment building, he saw the naked man in question — later identified as Ponce de Leon —walking on the sidewalk. He was still naked, still masturbating and walking toward the parking lot, according to the report.

The officer walked up to him and Ponce de Leon was startled, police said. He said he was sorry and that he had learned his lesson, the report states.

Thankfully he was fired before this whole thing went down. No word on whether his termination led to the incident in question, but it certainly couldn't have helped such an unstable individual any. Hopefully he can now resume his quest for the fountain of youth, which is reported to be somewhere outside Vero Beach.