Porn Consumption vs. Privacy Invasion

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women

Many years ago, shortly after I had begun working in the Internet porn industry, the small company for which I worked received a call to its customer service line from an irate woman whose son (or husband, it wasn’t clear which at the time) had used one of her credit cards to purchase a membership to one of the company’s subscription websites.

Even sitting across the room from our “customer service rep du jour” (the position rotated between several employees, all of whom had other, primary duties), I could tell he was being read the riot act.

“Yes… OK, but…. Yes, ma’am…. OK… Well… Uh….,” he tried to interject as the woman ranted loudly. “Ma’am – can I have some information about…. Ma’am? Yes…. Yes, I know, but I can’t help you unless I at least know which account....”

After several minutes of that, I almost fell out of my chair when I heard our erstwhile customer service rep (whose real job was to be a programmer, and as such maybe not the best choice of person to field phone calls from actual human beings) say “You know what, ma’am? Your real problem is that you have, apparently, raised a thief for a son.”

Shiiiiiit, I thought to myself. Good line, but she’s never going to let him hear the end of it now.

To my utter shock, after initially lambasting our misplaced programmer as I expected, I could tell she had backed off considerably. After about 90 seconds of our reasoning with her there was only so much a website could do (especially back in 1997) to verify the identity of a person entering credit card information at the other end of an Internet-based transaction, her yelling abruptly stopped. 

When the call was over, I asked how our less than satisfied non-customer took the comment about her having raised a thief.

“She was really pissed off at first,” the surly programmer told me, “but I think she also realized I was right. I mean, realistically, which should be of greater concern: Your son being a typical, heterosexual male who likes to look at porn, or your son thinking it’s no big deal to use your credit card without your permission?”

Whatever you might think about porn, you must admit: Our admittedly gruff young coder had a point.

I found myself thinking about that long-ago day as I read a more recent tale, one about Andrew Barr, a school principal in Australia who was forced to resign after someone uploaded a picture of him watching porn in his office.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think it’s a good thing for a school principal to watch porn at work, it’s just that I’m not too thrilled about the idea of people creeping around taking pictures through workplace windows, either.

The chairman of the school (Geelong College) has said Barr didn’t break any laws and “at no point did it affect the care provided to students,” so whatever harm has been done through this incident likely stemmed from the uploaded image going viral, more than any questionable web-surfing on Barr’s part.

While the school does openly promote its “Christian ethos”, based on the school website’s description of that ethos, Geelong doesn’t strike me as the sort of hotbed of social conservatism where any mention of sex or sexuality would send them into a full-blown porn panic.

“While we are a Christian school, The Geelong College upholds the values of freedom and choice by respecting the rights of all people to live by other faith traditions,” the description reads.

To me, this story represents a distinct “teaching moment” for the school, and not one focused solely on the unacceptable naughtiness of Mr. Barr. Yes, the students should understand why Mr. Barr has been shown the door, but at the same time, let’s not let whichever budding paparazzo took the photograph off the hook entirely.

Even if the person who took the picture felt the need to take it in the context of proving out a complaint he/she had already filed against Barr (and there’s no indication of such in the coverage of this incident), uploading the picture to the web was a step too invasive for my tastes. If necessary, turn the photo over to the relevant members of the administration, but upload it to the web? That’s a blow lower than the one Mr. Barr might have been watching at the time, if you catch my drift.

Maybe I’m just out of step with the modern world, though. After all, people take pictures (and video) of each other in all kinds of compromising, potentially meme-worthy positions these days, not only fully aware of how embarrassing the publication of the images would be to those depicted, but exactly because it will be mortifying to their subject target when publication occurs.

More than anything else, though, this story serves as a cautionary tale to porn-watchers everywhere. The moral of the story? That’s easy: Close your fucking blinds while you’re watching porn, for Christ’s sake!

About Coleen Singer:

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen), where she often waxes eloquent about Female Friendly Porn, sex, pleasure products, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.

Visit Coleen at Sssh.com for more kinky sex news, original movies and hot porn for women and couples!