Porn Valley Dispatch: Horse Cock Derby!

The staff here at Fleshbot in general (and at Porn Valley Dispatch in particular) is a genteel, ruffled-collar-wearing group and there was much brow-knitting, fevered diary entries, and cries of "But why, Papa?" at today's subtitle.

But we could not avoid shouting "Horse Cocks!" when today's pallet of porn arrived (especially since the term had already been used today in our last post), and no amount of little stars or energy bursts could obfuscate that which nosed its way between Alyssa Allure's breasts. Read more about horse cocks—and the people who tend to them—after the gap.
- G. Ponante

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While it has been found through extensive empirical research that Fleshbot readers (of all sexes) are a fantastically-endowed group, at least in terms of marketing potential for banner ads and click-throughs, the majority of male adults do not have what is commonly referred to as "horse cocks".

Some comfort might be taken in knowing that most female pornstars are quite small, even in their heels, but their size only makes the larger-than-average junk of porn fellows look even bigger.

When it comes to what our favorite porn version of a diploma mill, DirectDVDPlatinum, calls "horse cocks", however, one should be consoled that packing such a package is often uncomfortable and inconvenient. Since mine is over two years old, I need to buy an extra seat for it on the plane.

DirectDVDPlatinum has 20 different Big Cock titles, including "World's Biggest Tits & Dicks", "All the Way In", and, of course, "Huge Fucking Cocks". The third installment of "Real Life Horse Cocks" features the equine apparatus of Tony Duncan.

I have been on porn sets in which Huge Fucking Cocks were featured, and I can attest to the fact that only when the movie was about something other than Huge Fucking Cocks (e.g., the person with the Huge Fucking Cock was a substitute for another guy who couldn't be there, and played the pool cleaner in a cast of fellows with Moderately-Sized Fucking Cocks) did the sex appear enjoyable.

When the movie's about Huge Fucking Cocks, well, let's say there's a lot of eyeball rolling, plaintive yelps, and that horrible plunged-toilet blowjob gag sound. And that's just me watching it.

· Alyssa Allure (labored description @ deluxearchive.com)
· Send a Get Well message to Barbaro (upenn.edu)
· DirectDVDPlatinum (directdvdplatinum.com)