Portland’s Newest Menace: Dildo Nunchucks

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland, but the city's nearly unbearable levels of hipsterdom has led to a new menace: dildo nunchucks hanging from power lines all over the city. Concerned citizens are now taking to the internets to hope that the time tested strategy of online shaming is the only way to combat this menace.

According to the Mirror (link below), hundreds of dildos have now been cited dangling above the city, though there's no way of knowing if they're counting each sighting as two, which would actually halve the number of sightings, but I suppose we're arguing semantics at that point. 

The white and bright orange dildos have appeared in recent days across Portland, Oregon, sparking laughter, blushes and a lot of photos.

Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement spokeswoman Lisa Leddy said the department had received numerous reports of the x-rated sights.

A spokesman for public utility Portland General Electric said he did not believe the products posed a fire hazard.

Of course they're not a fire hazard since, as we all know, dildos only catch fire in factories or on some moron's stove.

Via Mirror