The Weekly Mindfuck: Enthusiasm

It's interesting how unique every sexual pairing is. I feel like I'm always some degree of tipsy before I sleep with someone new for the first time, the anticipation so thick that I'm wrought with anxiety. The good kind, of course. First encounters have a way of making you feel inexperienced—the perfect rhythm you'd crafted with your last partner over time is gone, your pulse pounding in your neck and your groin as hands awkwardly grapple for something, anything, everything. 

It's interesting how unique every sexual pairing is, because even when you're doing the same thing you've always done, you're doing it with a different set of eyes, with someone who's experiencing you in an entirely different capacity than anyone else has. You see yourself differently. You see sex differently. You learn something new even when you don't do anything new at all. This is how I found myself on all fours, my weight shifting backward as I rode my partner's cock. I can't remember why he stopped moving, to be honest. Maybe to catch a break, to last longer. Maybe he was tired. Or maybe he was just appreciating the view. Either way, I did what I always do: I arched my back a little, rolling my body just a little as I bounced back and forth. He started groaning—more of a growl, really, a primal and masculine sound—and I could tell he liked it. He came quickly, and as he rolled the condom off, he leaned back on his haunches.

"You always make me come when you do that."

I laughed softly. "Do what?" I couldn't think of anything special I'd done at all.

"When you fuck back."

It caught me off guard. It wasn't a conscious move I'd whipped out, something I'd done specifically to catch his attention. I was just physically responding, completely out of my own head. No one had ever mentioned it before, though I couldn't remember if I'd ever done it with anyone else at all.

"Do most girls not?" I asked. It wouldn't be the first time I was an anomaly. I'm a weird one.

"Nah," he said. 

I archived the moment, making note to reflect on it later. It's amazing how much of a turn on it is to be with a partner who craves you—how important enthusiasm and passion are for having good sex. One thing is certain: "Fuck back" is a phrase I'll never forget.