Is Tinder Really Just For Hookups?

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women

A few days ago Tinder had a supposed meltdown on Twitter because of a Vanity Fair article on how the app has created a dating apocalypse and how us young uns’ are just so frustrated because we get laid so much but no relationship, all because of Tinder. Obviously Tinder wasn’t pleased and went on what seemed like an unfortunate rant on Twitter.

Well, I’m with Tinder on this one. If I wasn’t an active Tinder user, I would have seen the dating world as a bleak, dry, sad scene full of penises and vaginas and not much else. And Tinder would be lording over us, refusing to let us have any deeper connections other than to have a quick unemotional shag. 

Instead it felt like an article looking to paint the dating world as bleak, looking to create drama where there wasn’t. First of all, the people the author Nancy Jo Sales talked to were limited to New York City. Listen, New York City has never been known as the beacon of the dating world. Way back in 1998 when Sex and the City was on air, the girls on the show were already talking about how hard it is to find a relationship in the city. It was the basis of the whole show. It was Sex and the city, not Long Term Relationship and the city. So starting in New York City as the place to find a stable relationship is already setting yourself up for failure. The only thing Tinder did, was to make it easier for people to find each other to hook up. It didn’t create what was already there.

Secondly, the article assumes that this small sample now applies to all Tinder users all over the world. As someone who has Tinder-ed in four different continents, I can tell you that each city / country uses Tinder differently than the next. Sure, we’re all kinda hoping for sex. Who isn’t? I mean come on! And there are some cities where the men are more aggressive in looking for it. But then again, there are some places where the men are using it as a tool to meet women for more serious relationships. 

My good friend found her current boyfriend through Tinder - even if he is a little shy to admit it - and they’ve been going out for almost two years now. I’ve meet some cool interesting guys who I am still friends with, even if nothing romantic or sexual happened between us. In a new city, it’s great to meet someone cool on Tinder. You get to do something interesting and maybe even have a non-committal hookup if things go well. 

And finally, the article makes it seem like women are not into hooking up. Like delicate flowers we are just wilting away, thanks to the non-attention we’re getting from all these horrid men on Tinder. Men must be swiping right on something. It’s not like all these women got conned to be on Tinder. 

I don’t think Tinder is the bringer of the Dating Apocalypse. I was never a fan of old school dating. The pressure that men feel to go up to a woman in a bar. The pressure women feel getting hit on all the time. Let me tell you though, just because men have taken it online, that doesn’t mean they suddenly got game. For the most part, if you cringe when some guy approaches you in a bar because he lacks game, then you’ll cringe when he approaches you online as well. But at least this way I can just ‘unmatch’ and move on. 

This doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate getting hit on in real life by a charming bloke. Sure! That’s lovely. And rare. 

My point is, to think that Tinder is ruining the dating pool is limiting. Dating is going to be dating no matter what platform. To reduce all men as just wanting to hit it and quit it is doing men a disservice. To say that all women have to also play along is doing women a disservice. Dating is going to be hard with or without Tinder. So lay off my favourite toy! 

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com and a film producer at BDSM site, Wasteland.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.

Visit Coleen at Sssh.com for more kinky sex news and original movies for Women and Couples.