British Woman Having Sex With Horny Ghosts, Has Renounced the Human Peen

Look, guys, I didn't want to come into work this morning and immediately be greeted with this headline in my inbox, but here we are: 

Unsurprisingly this ghost fiend's name is Amethyst Realm. Her parents are either hippies or, I dunno, she made it up when she began her career as a "spiritual guidance counselor." This is a confusing job title - does she act as a peer mediator between spirits? Or just see guide humans in this dimension through their spiritual lives? Hmmm.

“It started as an energy, then became physical,” Amethyst said on This Morning. “There was pressure on my thighs and breath on my neck. I just always felt safe. I had sex with the ghost. You can feel it. It’s difficult to explain. There was a weight and a weightlessness, a physical breath and stroking, and the energy as well.” 

In all seriousness, I have trouble deciding whether or not she has a mental illness and needs to see a psychiatrist stat or if ghosts are, in fact, A) real and B) very horny. I mean, we certainly can't prove it's happening, but we can't prove it's not happening either. 

Amethyst Realm (seriously, I can't) is certainly not the only one to claim ghostly relations, either. History is rife with such accounts, and even Kesha has claimed to get it on with a ghost. 

#shadowcreatures #Booty #DatAss #ghostsex https://t.co/4KwAL5azpG pic.twitter.com/OvV8sCl0u1

— ParanormalHooD™© (@ParanormalHooD) August 23, 2017

The one thing in common with all these accounts is that the sex is mind-blowing. What I really want to know is how all these ghosts are so damn good in bed and where they learned their skills.