“The Jerk Shirt” Isn’t Real Right? RIGHT?!

You Know Someone Is Going to Wear This in Public

No. Nope. No Way. Nada. Not going to happen. No. No. No. No. We do not need a shirt that lets you jerk off in public. Look, I’m all for a little self-love, but you need to do it in the privacy of your own home or with one or more consenting partners—do not choke the chicken in public.  

Yes, apparently it’s a thing (though I don’t know how real of a thing). “The Jerk Shirt” allows you to touch your naughty bits without getting noticed . . . well, kind of. While I really do have a hard time believe this is thing, apparently CamSoda (yes, the same adult webcam company CamSoda) has created this shirt so you no longer have to suffer the embarrassment of getting caught stuffing the bunny in your home, the park, the office, the subway, or any other public place. As stated in their press release:  

“Individual’s real hands are hidden underneath the shirt allowing undercover stimulation anytime, anywhere without the fear of getting caught in the act.”

And…  

“With more and more people on their mobile devices than ever before, we wanted to provide them with a seemingly inconspicuous way to enjoy adult entertainment.”  

See, world, this is why we can’t have nice things. Of course, I still think it’s not really real (this more meant to be a gag gift) but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to move seats if I see someone wearing a shirt similar to this on a bus. I get it—we all have needs and urges, but wait until you get home. And lock the door if you don’t want to get caught.

Via Huffington Post