Morning Wood

As many regular readers will know, things have been extra-jiggly around here since Hurricane Katrina; all is well with my beloved editor, but until the pink maribou handcuff relief shipments arrive to keep me in check and Jonno can return fully to the porn mines, I'll be cracking the whip on a new stable of guest editors for the next couple of weeks. Kindly help me break in Sam Sugar, Arlo Tolesco, Bryan Thomas and (when I can get him to take a break from his rising star of porn infamy) we'll be seeing a bit more of Gram as well. Now join me in cozying up to some Morning Wood, wherein Suicide Girls take another ethical slap in the press; the Mormons literally 'witness' a porn DVD mixup; subtle porn pillowcases give new dimension to my morning wood fantasies, and more rumors about Britney Spears porn tapes, after the jump. V. Blue

· Who knew suicide could take so damn long? NY Press takes a moment to chat with a few former Suicide Girls and nicely unravels the story, with an extra side of snark. (NY Press, thanks Kelly)

· It's almost like the sequel to "Orgazmo" except it really happened: someone switched the inspirational Mormon movies with the porn DVDs, and while it all got rectified, I can't help but wish they'd thrown in a copy of Under the Banner of Heaven as well... Oh, what a terrible mistake. (deseretnews.com, thanks Corey)

· It might take you a minute, but look closely and you'll see what's so delightfully obscene about these pillowcases. West Elm, take note. (unfed-nyc.com, thanks Red)

· Rumors again, or like, totally for reals? Whether it makes you want to claw your own eyes out just to think about it, or like me you're already planning the drinking games, rumor has it that a Britney Spears and Kevin Federline porn tape might be "in the oven" as you read this. (Xbiz)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives