Morning Wood

No Lil Jon porn, at least for now, which is probably ok-ay; the Pentagon closes the porn-for-dead-Iraqi-photos investigation; Slashdong looks for Obscene Machines footage; Cinekink NYC's new schedule shows it'll be the place to show off your new human pony pet; Seattle hates lap dancing revenue; a cool profile of the "JT" in JT's Stockroom; and WaiWai strains the results of a Japanese women's sex survey through its bizarre journalistic filter, after the jump. V. Blue

· The King of Crunk will now see you in court: like Dave Chappelle, will he plead the fif? Hardly: Lil Jon, who was all set to be the new rap porn king, filed suit last week against LFP Video and Category 5 Entertainment claiming breach of contract, false advertising, trademark infringement and unauthorized use of his name and likeness. (Xbiz)

· And that amateur porn site with alleged dead Iraqis supposedly traded for porn access in the forums, as suspected, is certainly some kind of hoax, as the probe directed by the Pentagon was quickly and quietly closed due to lack of proof. (itn.co.uk)

· If any sex machine fans out there record the Obscene Machines show being replayed on UK's Channel 4 tonight, please do send your files to Slashdong so we can all watch it... (theage.com.au, channel4.com, via Slashdong)

· Advance tickets to NYC's Cinekink festival went on sale this week; one look at the kickoff party, film lineup and awards event schedule makes me want to pack the rubber panties, human saddles and raspberry syrup I'd need to properly view the documentary on the east van porn collective, or the Maria Beatty films, or Suzie's Squirt Salon. But since I'm in SF, I'll be sure to celebrate the film fest in my own special way... (cinekink.com)

· And hot on the heels of our giddiness at the success of Seattle's indy porn fest HUMP, the fine city has to go and soften my wood by considering a lap dance ban. (wftv.com)

· But LA knows how to give a girl back her wood, especially when Los Angeles CityBeat profles JT's Stockroom's underground S/M icon, Joel Tucker. (LA CityBeat)

· Ask almost 1000 Japanese women about their sex lives and what do you get? Maybe something's lost in translation, but in the world of WaiWai it's women who give "ministrations" to dozing boyfriends and orgasms like "a sea breeze blew through my brain." But what sea, I wonder? (WaiWai)

Thumbnail via: Maria Beatty

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives