Porn Valley Dispatch

I hope this doesn
t turn out to be the soul-destroying art show from '9 1/2 Weeks',
I thought, navigating through dismal post-Dodgers traffic to the Kick Ass Pictures "Art Happening" featuring Mary Carey. Driving through downtown L.A. brings out the somber Estevez in all of us. Read all the brooding, expressionist details after the gap.- G. Ponante

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Kick Ass Pictures
president Mark Kulkis is somewhat meek. Despite this, he has orchestrated Mary Carey
s Icarus-like fame—but not by sending out self-congratulatory press releases. Instead, he does weird shit like take Carey to Republican fundraisers and put on art shows.

It was to the fourth Kick Ass Pictures Art Show I traveled this weekend. Set up in Kick Ass
downtown warehouse, the show featured the work of several local artists, next to which hung each artist
s mission statement.
I am interested in demonstrating the beauty of the female form,
one read.
The subtle juxtaposition of line to curve fascinates me.
(Or something like that.)

The four artists who presented work kept all the profits from whatever sales they made, which was great, and various Kick Ass pinups served drinks with brio, verifying that one service industry is very much like another. I have long believed that there is only a thin line between L.A. bartenders and porn performers.

The finale of the evening was, of course, Carey, who disrobed and began rubbing paint on herself and then a canvas. She got help from Nikki Hilton (not her, the other one) and Bridgetta Tomarchio, who chose to keep her clothes on. I believe this was a mistake, but then I
m not a licensed art critic.

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The resulting piece was auctioned off for 50 bucks and was purchased by a self-proclaimed starving artist, who hectored the crowd for not contributing more. I guess that, as art is a reaction to society, our inability to cough up more cash was a reaction to Bridgetta Tomarchio not getting naked.

· Kick Ass Art Show: "The Only Art Show in a Porn Warehouse!" (kickassartshow.com)

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Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive