As a female who also happens to be a bit of an insomniac, I've spent many an hour watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, because why not. I'm a little disappointed in myself, though - disappointed that another young woman had the bold, beautiful idea to turn her eyeliner into penis drawings first.
@asialbx sooo in LOVE with your look my new everyday eye makeup pic.twitter.com/bxlP3NEPJC
— jas? (@fem_princesa) November 19, 2016
Photo courtesy of Asia Brautigam
In my melancholy, I searched the internet for more dick-related makeup ideas, and was immediately cheered by the sheer volume of creative face-enhancing strategies strewn across the web. There are so many was to cockify your faces, people! There's contouring, aptly called "hoe's contour":
There are dick-shaped lipsticks (lipdicks) and highlighters (like the Netflix and Chill palette):
Photo via @bsccosmetics2
And, of course, using tricks to highlight your actual dick:
But why stop there? The world of makeup is a wonderful, limitless place of artistic possibilities. I have a few other ideas I'd like to throw into the hat, lest I miss the boat entirely:
Not only will this make a definitive statement, it also means you won't have to wake up every day and free hand yet another set of balls.
I mean that literally. Draw actual balls on your cheeks, complete with tiny hairs. This transforms your entire face into...not a face.
Have someone dip their penis in your makeup and use it as a beauty blender to apply your makeup.
It's kinda sticky, dries matte, and is good for the skin. Not a bad idea, eh?
A polished looks goes beyond the face.
Photo via the depths of Google