Top Ten Hottest Fairy Tale Movie Heroines

Stories You Know Well With Chicks You'd Love to Bang!

In the modern world, fairytales have been Disney-fied and sterilized. They have been given happy endings and clean, bloodless plot lines. This is not, of course, how the Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, and all of those other storytellers intended for their work to be enjoyed. I really think that Hollywood has gotten a whole lot more right about the tone of a lot of the old fables and stories that get told to children but that were never intended to be childish.

These are my ten favorite fairy tale/fable/child story movies with heroines that are hot as fuck and following a story arc that's a lot more primal, sexy, and/or a bit scary.

10) Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith as Cinderella in "Cinderella" (1977) 

In this weird as fuck sexy musical adaptation of the fairytale, beautiful blonde Smith gets freely naked as the princess-to-be. The nerdtastic prince (Brett Smiley) has to fuck all the women in the land while he is blindfolded until he finds Cinderella again. Rough life!

9) Amanda Plummer as Ramona Lutz in "Freeway" (1996)

Reese Witherspoon is a teen prostitute who gets very violent on the big bad wolf/serial killer Kiefer Sutherland in this skeevy adaptation of Little Red Riding Hood. It is, however, Red's mom Plummer who gives us a whole lot of fantastic boob shots in this very nineties movie produced by Oliver Stone.

8) Yvonne Catterfeld as La Princesse in "La belle et la bete" (2014)

There have been many film adaptations of the tale of Beauty and the Beast but German singer/actress Catterfeld is seriously gorgeous in this as the doomed princess with Lea Seydoux looking equally lovely - but less nude - as the charming and sweet Belle.

7) Julia Artomonov as Anastasia in "The Sleeping Beauty" (2010)

Director Catherine Breillat pretty much makes only sexy as fuck movies, and her French made-for-television version of the Hans Christian Anderson fairytale has a sexy, girl/girl friendly princess who gets caught in the middle of a witch war. It's really, really good - great date night rental.

6) Catherine Erhardt as Cindy in "Cinderella 2000" (1977)

In another weird seventies adaptation of this fairy tale, Erhardt (AKA Catherine Burgess) is hella topless hella often as Cinderella in this sci-fi, goofy, disco-loving movie.

5) Kristine DeBell as Alice in "Alice In Wonderland" (1976)

Another seventies, freaky porn musical adaptation of a fairytale!  These things are so bad and fun and good and sexy...I really love the goof factor and natural bodies in this movie adaption of the novel by Lewis Carroll. The fact that DeBell went on to star in the classic eighties Bill Murray comedy "Meatballs" just makes me happy. 

4) Lisa Marie as Lady Crane in "Sleepy Hollow" (1999)

This Tim Burton adaptation of the Washington Irving story "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" is a true Goth girl-lover's paradise. Not only do we get all kinds of gorgeous cleavage action from Marie, but Christina Ricci is also gorgeous in this too as Katrina Van Tassel, the heart's desire of schoolteacher Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp, back before he was outed for being not the greatest fiance ever).

3) Amanda Seyfried as Valerie in "Red Riding Hood" (2011)

Fuck, this movie is sexy. Yeah, Seyfried as the girl in the red cape could have flashed some boob in this but I love this anyway. In this adaptation, a werewolf is killing people in the town and film legend Julie Christie is here as the grandmother that Red journeys to see. Gary Oldman chews the scenery as a werewolf hunter/priest - again, another fun date night rental.

2) Natalie Portman as Nina in "Black Swan" (2010)

Soon to be on screen in the role of first lady Jackie Kennedy, Portman starred with Mila Kunis in this insanely erotic thriller about ballerinas and the story of Swan Lake, which originally came from a couple of different Russian folk tales. So what if Portman and Kunis don't actually get naked for their lez exchange? I totally have filled in the blanks on that one over and over again in my fantasies and we still get to see a ton of these two looking lean and lovely as dancers on the edge of weirdness.

And my number one pick is...

1) Daryl Hannah in "Splash" (1984)

In this retelling of Hans Christian Anderson's "The Little Mermaid", Hannah is just gorgeous as the sea creature that I think we all would be just fine getting it on with. Hannah is down with being a nude chick of the sea in this and goofy, young Tom Hanks is down for whatever gets him closer to Hannah and her wet booty and overall beauty. The sweetness in this love story, directed by Ron Howard, is the real deal, and it is another great date night movie on this list. Cuddle up on the couch with your sweetie and enjoy this story of a very wet woman who will do anything for her true love.