Morning Wood

Hilary Swank replaces her publicist with her breasts; condoms get swanky; Sharapova's giant nipples frighten Canadian officials; more naked Road Rules babes; tips for picking up girls (for real) ... and much more after the jump.V. Blue

· Tales from the nip: it's Hilary Swank's Million Dollar Boobie(s). (Double Viking, thanks, Fraq)

· I can't vouch for any possible science that might be behind these crocodile skin condoms, but I think they would look fabulous with a similarly skinned purse, or on someone named Dundee. (Techakke)

· But it's the only reason we watch tennis, dammit: "Canadians Order to Retouche Maria Sharapova
s Nipples". (MOSNews, thanks Dima)

· Until a day ago, I had totally forgotten about Road Rules and The Real World, and I was... happy. At least my reminders are filled with perky boobies, giving a whole new meaning to B-level and D-level stardom. (That's Just Not Right, thanks Robert)

· There's not much at the fledgeling hardcore sex video game site "X-Rated: The Evil Game", but their tagline, "kill the monster and fuck the bitch" is melting me with its powers of seductive marketing copy... Not. Still, my editor brandishes the riding crop and tells me, "a nip's a nip". (dirtygame.biz, thanks Roujin)

· Maybe they should've taken some tips from a girl that knows how. I wish I'd read this before I met her in a smoky London pub, as then I could've blithely quipped about "turnabout as fair play" in my bad fake British accent or something. But since Girl With a One-Track Mind is so hawt, who better to get advice from on how to pick up girls? (GWOTM, via Viviane)

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