Only in Florida: This Week in Nudity and a Swan Found

June 1, 2017
JACK-BLACKBUSH

Is It the Warm Weather?

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

The only thing I can think of is the weather. Florida is known for its warm weather all year. That's the only thing I can think of that would cause so many people to strip down to their birthday suits in the most random of the places. It would appear that once again Florida is filled with nudity. Via 7 News Miami:

Naked Man Walks Around Miami International Airport

Officials said it is unknown whether the man was a passenger or simply came in from the street. It did not appear that he had any bags.

69 Year Old Woman Flashing, Peeing, And Yelling At Cars

69-year-old Sandra Christian was found at the corner of Main Street and Hendry Street. She was observed by officers yelling at passing vehicles before standing up, pulling her pants down, and urinating on a bench. She was arrested and charged with Indecent Exposure with Exposure of Sexual Organs.

Whacking It At The Bank

Police say they found Hunadieu Lamy, 34, masturbating on the property of a PNC Bank on Northlake Boulevard near Prosperity Farms Road on May 22. An officer made eye contact with Lamy and then he immediately ran east and jumped over a fence, according to a police report.

Now an update on the naked swan thief. It case you forget the story of the nude man who stole a $25,000 swan, you can get caught up here. But, we have some good news! The swan was found and it was undamaged. Though, sadly, it was not reported whether the master thief was still naked when police found him.

Never change, Florida. Never change.