Only in Florida: 1 Strike and 2 Boobs

May 18, 2017
JACK-BLACKBUSH

Baseball Has Enough Balls, It Needs More Boobs

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

If you played baseball at any point in your life, you know that part of the game is distracting the other team. Personally I can remember chanting "Hey battabattabattabattata! Swing battabattabattabtta! with the hopes that these chants would cause the opposing teams better to swing in a miss at a the oncoming pitch. And I guess for real fans, true fans, the idea of the distracting the other team continues even if you are in the stands. That must be why Florida woman and Miami Marlins fan Korina Evaniuk decided to distract the St. Louis Cardinal pitcher by flashing her boobs.

It would seem that Miss Evaniuk just got really into the game and wanted to show her team pride by showing off her fantastic boobs.

“I hardly planned anything,” she said. “I was literally just sitting there and it just happened. You never know when you’re actually on camera. I don’t know if the camera’s on me or not. The fact they caught me in three seconds of my life – things happen.

“People are saying I ‘flashed’ but I didn’t. ... I was sort of shimmying my breasts a little bit. … The whole world is going crazy. I never meant to offend the Marlins or anyone.”

And for some reason the Miami Marlins organization weren't all that thrilled with Miss Evaniuk trying to help her home town team win a game. They said, in part:

"do not condone that behavior, and we have addressed it with the fans in question to ensure that it does not happen again.”

If you ask me, baseball needs more flashing. And I know for a fact that Miami has some of the lowest attendance in all of Major League Baseball. Kornia Evanuik and her boob shake is one the best things to happen to that organization in years. Baseball isn't as popular as it used to be and honestly there is nothing that will help fill the stands more than the possibility of seeing some awesome boobs. And a home run or two. But mostly the boobs.