Behind Closed Doors: WTF Is a Cervical Orgasm?

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6896/cervical-orgasm-guide/

Perhaps my favorite part of being a woman is the variety of orgasms we have - depending on the length of stimulation, how many orgasms we've already had, how turned on what are, and what exactly is being stimulated, we can have a bunch all in one session. (And they all feel different!) It sort of makes up for how difficult it is to have one in the first place. Kind of. 

My favorite to learn about is the cervical orgasm - mostly because early memories of sentences including both "cervix" and "sex" usually accompanied "pain." That tells you more about my early sex life than anything, actually, but I digress. In Taoism, the cervical orgasm is called the third gate - both because it's the hardest to give/receive and the most intense. People describe feelings of extraordinary love and pleasure, so much so that the experience is transcendent. The only problem? Few women have them. I am here, as always, to help fix that. 

What is a cervical orgasm? 

As you might have guessed, a cervical orgasm happens by stimulating the cervix - the dome-shaped entrance to the uterus at the top of the vagina. It's not quite as easy as it sounds, though, because stimulating the cervix before a woman is totally relaxed, turned on, and open is actually pretty painful. (All you penis-havers may have had a woman tell you not to ram into it during sex.) It's very sensitive, and for good reason; namely, that a baby grows on the other side. 

A cervix. Enjoy. 

What does it feel like? 

I'll put in terms of the Taoist gates: Clitoral orgasms, the easiest to procure, are the most localized, with most of the pleasure building in the genital reason. They feel ahhhmazing, but the first doesn't feel as big as say, the third. It's usually related to how a penile orgasm feels. Then there are vaginal orgasms (which, as we know, are more like Back End Clitoral Network Orgasms, but whatever). They're a little more intense and in your body, particularly if you've already had a clitoral orgasm, which is why it's the second gate - you get to it after passing through the first. Cervical orgasms, on the other hand, are so full body that many women report feeling the orgasm in their limbs and torsos. They are cosmic. 

How do I get/give one? 

This remains the most complicated aspect of all this. Remember, it's called the third gate because it's most likely if the woman has already had a couple orgasms, which means that foreplay and sex would be extended. (Not exactly mid-Netflix-quickie fare.) If you or your lovely lady struggles to have any kind of orgasm, attempting this right off the bat can be overwhelming. Prior orgasms aren't required, though, so long as she is around three-quarters of the way to cumming - so very, very aroused. Good signs of readiness are swelling (lady boners!) and extreme wetness.

The most important thing after arousal is relaxation. This is also a lot easier said than done - to be able to cum via cervical stimulation means you need to be sooooo relaxed. So relaxed you don't have a thought in your mind about what you're making for dinner or where you left your car keys or if you're going to have a cervical orgasm. It means no body insecurities (at least in the moment), fear of judgment from a partner, or concerns about touch, taste, smell, or performance. The good news is that all of that stuff is easily practiced and can improve your sex life immensely, no matter how you orgasm. It takes a lot of mindfulness and communication, but it's incredible once you get to that mental place. 

Let's say your lady boner is hard AF and you don't have one single damn to give about anything in the world. Then, it's time to have a partner (or a long toy) stimulate your cervix with his penis or strap on in slowwwww circles or gentle strokes. It can take a long time for it to create an orgasm, but it should feel really pleasurable at this point. It's the easiest to do in doggy style, due to the deep potential penetration, but there are plenty of ways to experiment. If you've got a partner that's down to be patient and get creative, cervical orgasms can change your life - and they're certainly among the most bonding. 

If only they'd taught us this in sex ed.