The Weekly Mindfuck: Sexual Priming

A study came out recently corroborating something I'd heard about from a lot of friends - and experienced myself, of course. It turns out that watching porn, reading erotica, or looking at nudes before going on a date makes for much more open dialogue and makes us more open to sex in general. It's not an entirely shocking premise - your mind 

It's not an entirely shocking premise - your mind is in an erotic, open, intimate place immediately prior to hanging out with this person - but I realized the concept of "sexual priming" is applicable in far more contexts than just a first date. An aunt once told me that post-menopause, watching porn daily, particularly with her spouse, helped her immensely with her libido, and I know incorporating some kind of erotica (written or visual) into my daily routine keeps my sex drive supercharged and helps me feel sexy overall. 

Some people need to be primed to want sex (we call this kind of desire responsive instead of spontaneous), and for some, priming just helps turn the dial up. I'm thinking now, of course, how priming could be used in other contexts to give us all a boost. I've met couples who ritualistically watch porn together most nights because it keeps them wanting each other, and I've met people who love to get off to their own sex tapes because it makes them crave the partner on camera so badly.

But recent research shows that sexual priming isn't just good for making us want nookie - it's linked to disclosing more personal stories, aka, being more authentic and vulnerable. When is doing so, when we might not otherwise, be a useful brain hack? Should I be masturbating before I go see my therapist? (I'm just kidding.) (I'm really not.)

Regardless of how we use this tactic, it does shed the spotlight on the power of preparing our brains. It can be frustrating to not understand why we're not horny or open when we want to be, and we do seem to live in a world that says we should just be "on" at all times. It's not the case for us or our partners, so why not prioritize this priming and see what happens?