“Cathouse” Poetry Contest Winners

Lest you think that works of high literary merit are only inspired by things like tranny porn and German bukkake videos, have a look at the winning submissions for our "Cathouse" Poetry Contest, the authors of which will each receive a copy of HBO's "Cathouse" DVD. Thanks to everyone who entered—we'd treat all of you to a night with Air Force Amy if we could.

Winning entries after the jump. (Confidential to the ghost of Edna St. Vincent Millay: We don't think you have much to worry about.)

· Sponsored by Cathouse from HBO: "Get an intimate look at the ladies working in Nevada
s infamous Bunny Ranch brothel."
DVD available now at Amazon.

* * * * *

Grand Prize Winner:
Kubla Cock
by Ray Mavervorlo

Near Carson did old Dennis Hof
A humble Bunny Ranch erect
At Red Rock Road
s dirt-crusted end
Does Sunset Thomas tell a
friend

To pay with cash or check.

So half a hundred miles from where
Swart Vegas prosties do twirl their hair
And check their makeup in the Vagabond
s loo
Where cruised by many a doughnut-munching cop
And up the 50
s rolling highway, you
Turn off the exit, drive a bit, and stop.

What Ho! That dimly-litted lineup presented
Near the bar, just in the lobby, Ladies!
O Holy Shit! I
ve Air Force Amy rented
As e
er my chinos
bulging pocket tented
As if my frothing parts had gotten rabies.

- - -

Bunny Ranch Limerick
by Chris

Viagra's OK for some guys,
But the thing that will sure get a rise
Is sex, carte blanche,
Served at M.B. Ranch
From gals who are treat for the eyes.

- - -

Cathouse Haiku
by Justin

Enter the Cathouse:
A source of embarrassment
Yet so compelling.

- - -

Pretentious Horsehit Poetry (excerpt)
by T. X. Merovingian

This soulless protrusion craves diversion—
The exertion of insertion.
Cathouse incursion.
Jessica Simpson? No.
Visa Card blow (discretely billed).
Prostitution solution—no regrets or refusions.
Soulless protrusion resolution.

Youth is unyielding
But for now
All is well.

Then.

TV flickers.
Jessica Simpson undulates.

- - -

Honorable Mention:
The Bunny Ranch
by Alexander The Poet

I never watched HBO,
Until I watched The Bunny Ranch.
The show had quality hoes,
And they all had quality snatch!

I watched it with some tissues,
Cause I could not stop jerking off.
My cock had a few seizures,
Thank God for my man Dennis Hof!

If you want to watch a show
That takes you inside a brothel
"Cathouse" on HBO
Will make you work your cock muscle!