Behind Closed Doors: Math and Sex

Math, for most of us, seems like a skill we don't really to hone beyond basic multiplication or division equations - after all, we're mostly just using it to balance our budgets and figure out how much pizza to order for our Super Bowl parties. So how in god's name does it apply to sex - and how can it help us pick better relationships and be more likely to succeed at them? 

In Clio Cresswell's book "Mathematics and Sex" - sampled here in this TED Talk - she reminds us of a potent and often forgotten principle: Math, in its essence, is about harnessing the power or patterns. No one really likes to be distilled down to a statistic or completely generalized because it seems to stamp out our individuality, character, and communication style, but there are a lot of interesting and surprising patterns to be gleaned from large enough sample sizes. That's where the power of math and sex (or math and love) is found - we're able to learn incredibly high-level things and then make predictions based on them. 

Take, for example, Clio's initial equation about marriage. It's certainly complicated, but it predicts with 95 percent accuracy if a couple will still be married after six years. This would seem like an impossibility, and it's important to note that there will be outliers, as always - but if we knew the formula and the ways the factors interact, we might be able to give ourselves the greatest chance for success.

There is tons and tons of research out there accounting for relationship and sexuality factors. It turns out that one of the most important predictors of the success of your relationship is how quickly you address negative emotions you're having, for example. Researchers are able to tell you how long you should date before getting married (about two years), how many partners to have before picking "the one" (12), and how often you should have sex to be personally satisfied and close to your partner (once a week). And those don't apply to everyone, right? They're too vague - they don't account for the ways all the different factors of your relationship interact with each other. When learned individually (and taken too seriously), they can do more harm than good.

And that's where math comes in. Mathematicians are improving their ability to write equations for abstract concepts like love and sex drive and joy every day, meaning that we're able to see a scaled back picture of these patterns, a way to conceptualize love and orgasm and exactly how much porn we should be watching to reap the maximum potential of our libidos without inhibiting our ability to enjoy real live sex. 

Sadly, most people are critical of "sexualizing" math in this way, as if the benefits of these studies wouldn't massively improve our lives. Articles and books citing factors that impact our sex lives and relationships are a dime a dozen, but there are so few pieces of legitimate work that reflect the viability, weak points, and strong points of our own partnerships, both romantically and sexually. I'm hoping that will change - I, for one, would love to soak up as much knowledge as I can. 

The good news? Cresswell told Letterman that one possible working title for her next book is "Clitoris Calculus" - and believe me, I'll be the first to read it and report back.