Sexlets Gum—differentiated from other gums by the sexy lady on the package—is chock full of "a proprietary blend of natural male stimulating ingredients," which are apparently released into the bloodstream when the gum is chewed (mm, delicious!). When that happens, the blood starts aflowin', which leads to a larger, thicker penis and longer, harder, firmer and more powerful erections.

But that's not all! Since chewing gum promotes saliva, which kills bacteria, Sexlets Gum also helps maintain those bright shiny teeth and gums. Bigger penis and healthy teeth? Whatta combo!

Clearly, nothing can go wrong with this plan.

· Sexlets Gum (sexletsgum.com)

The picture to the left shows Isabella Rossellini (of "Green Porno" fame) amongst a variety of animal penii. Can you identify the highlighted one? Leave your guess in the comments—and if you pick right, you'll get the chance to win a prize from Sundance.

So what are you waiting for? Get guessing! (And if you need a little help... this gallery should give you some clues.)

· Name That Schlong (sundancechannel.com)

· "One Eyed Monster" (oneeyedmonstermovie.com)

· Grand Theft Auto 4: The Lost and Damned 'Full Frontal' clip (gamevideos.1up.com, thanks Kotaku!)

To put some context to this: the flaccid penis, shown in Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and Damned, belongs to Congressman Thomas Stubbs, who bares all after receiving a massage at a gentleman's club. In other words, it's actually (relatively) justified by the plot—well, as much as any nudity, sex, or violence is ever justified in GTA.

Now if only they'd show an actual (digital) erect penis in the next installment. That would be worth getting worked up about.

UPDATE: Screencaps of the offending member here.

· GTA IV: The Lost and Damned Also Adds Full Frontal Nudity (kotaku.com)

· Missile Defense Original Art (ebay.com)

·Erect Penis With A Pancake On Its Head (ebay.com)
· Dan Lacey (faithmouse.com)

Well, thanks to SF Media Labs, our dreams may come true even sooner than we'd hoped: the cleverly named "Joydick" allows users to convert their joystick into a... joystick capable of moving the character onscreen in all four cardinal directions (an additional apparatus can be added to enable a fire button). We just have one question: how soon until they make one of these for the ladies?

· The Joydick (sfmedialabs.com)

"It looks like what they do with a cell phone tower when they try to make it look like a palm tree," said an interested observer of the floppy rubber sleeve ending with a more turgid penis facsimile. "You can tell something's not right but you're not sure what."

The feeling of tightness was not unpleasant, but it soon became clear that the Cyberskin 4" Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension would require some handling if the sensation weren't to be like trying to write with a broken pencil.

I will not include a picture of myself sporting this thing, as my job is to write about sex, not inspire it.

So, holding on tight to the space between where I ended and the Cyberskin 4" Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension began, I guided the vessel into the interested observer and she sort of dug it, my being suddenly mixed-race and all. I felt like I was reversing the Bradley Effect every moment I was in there. But it was more work for me despite her enjoyment and - full but reluctant disclosure - the pudendum addendum, while longer, was not actually thicker. So it was like I was poking her with San Francisco's Transamerica Building.

The overall effect was like jerking off in a sleeve while where I wanted to be was four inches away, which was very porny.

· Topco Sales (topcosales.us)
· Buy "Cyberskin 4" Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension" (gamelink.com)

· Name Your Wang (nameyourwang.com, via BuzzFeed)
· Penis Name Generator (blogthings.com)

So we've decided to test your knowledge of male porn performers. Below the jump, we've assembled some action shots of the seven men who made the cut for our roundup; your task is to match the man to the cock shot by placing your guesses in the comments section. Get them all right and you could win your very own copy of the Cosmo Kama Sutra. Or bragging rights. Whichever makes you happier.

. . .

Pornstar #1:

Pornstar #2:

Pornstar #3:

Pornstar #4:

Pornstar #5:

Pornstar #6:

Pornstar #7:

The fine print: You must be over 18 to enter the contest, and you may submit only one entry per commenter account. Standard contest rules apply.

See how it's hanging with Jefferson after the jump.

. . .

Sex Blog Roundup
by Jefferson

- - -

Girls With Something Extra

Offering me a glass of wine, we relaxed for a few minutes on a large leather couch and discussed the details of what was about to take place. During our introductory phone call, I indicated to her that I was the submissive type, but after having actually seen her I made up my mind I had to have a piece of that ass and that I wanted to violate every part of her body.

"The first timers are always the wildest," she laughed, and with that she stood and her robe came off. While genetically "she" is still a "he," her body was far better than most women I had seen. Her advertised measurements were 38-24-36, which by my eyes was exactly right.

- Impaled Male

- - -

Strange Ejaculation

He was kneeling there with his cock in his hand, his come dripping down the sides of my breasts. He looked puzzled.

"I came," he said. "But I didn't, you know, come."

I was pretty dazed, so I was having a hard time processing confusing statements.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I came, but I didn't have an orgasm."

- Debauchette

- - -

The Most Revolting Client An Escort Could Ever Have

Heres the funny part—he said "Ohhh, I haven't been sucked like that in a long time. Oh, you are so good at that. Yeah, suck me." My mouth didn't once touch his dick, nor did more than two of my fingers.

He's foolishly asked "Can I cum in your mouth" and I said "No"—then I realized that I forgot to stop simulating the blow job when I spoke, because its obviously impossible to speak clearly with a dick in your mouth, but he was such an idiot he didn't even realize it.

- Collegehookerboy's Hot and Disturbing Weblog

- - -

Tears of Many Kinds, Part One

He steps back, through tear clouded eyes I see his cock, so hard that it's straining at the pants he has yet to remove. I lick my dry lips at the thought of taking him in my mouth.

"You're not getting my cock yet, bitch," he spits out. His accompanying cruel derisive laugh makes me wish I wasn't tied up so I could slap him.

- Urban Gypsy

- - -

Meet Josette

We kiss for about twenty minutes. My hands sometimes on her breasts. Sometimes on her butt. I'd love to be able to say that we ended up fucking on the hood of her car. But the truth is, that was about it. Second base is how we'd score this one back in the day.

Maybe I could have taken it further, but that's not what this was all about. The real rush was just the fact that we both kissed and let each other know we were into each other. For me, that's even better than sex. I like the mental more than the physical.

Or maybe I'm just justifying why I didn't get any further.

- Ashley and Me

- - -

Gulping Fuck

All I can think about is having a long hard stiff shaft shoved down my throat until my body flinches with lust. A strange tickle in the back of my throat, and a series of hard swallows usually follows a particularly intense orgasm for me.

I believe this is a direct result of conditioning not unlike Pavlov's theory, in that every time I cum, my throat gets tight and the next thing I want is cock in my mouth. I beg for it even!

- Kinkerbelle

* * * * *

See also: Sugasm #137: The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them (sugasm.com)

Thumbnail via Monsters Of Cock (TGP/preview gallery @ bangbros1.com, via Ask Jolene)

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

You will look like one of those Sears photographers, facing forward while holding a bulb in one hand and the birdie in the other, when you physically commit to the CyberSkin® Waterproof EZ-Bend Cockring. Because what the title doesn't tell you is that, not only is this cock ring as bendy as a favorite bath tool, but it also has a vibrating bullet attached by a length of wire to a controller.

So you poke your schlong through the CyberSkin® Waterproof EZ-Bend Cockring's stretchy hole, all the while feeling the not-unpleasant but otherwise-unnatural humming of the bullet underneath. The farther one pokes, the more secure the source of the vibration (unless one has no testicles, and then it's a crapshoot).

So the user has both hands occupied, really, at which point the question becomes "What if ladies are present?"

The answer, I believe, is that this device is for the gentleman who is currently between ladies.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)
· Buy the CyberSkin® Waterproof EZ-Bend Cockring (sensualadviser.com)